This week I received an unexpected package from one of my aunts who live in Puerto Rico. My family in PR knows how much I love the fruits and vegetables from the island and they try to periodically send me care packages with little edible mementos. I was in high heaven, sinking my teeth into a jobo grown on a tree in Tia Estrella's backyard. It's a fruit that seems to be a cross between a mango and an apple. In English, they're called ambarella and they grow only in warm tropical places. The skin peels like a mango and the flesh is somewhat crisp like an apple. The seed is like a prickly cactus. The flesh is sweet, almost honey-like and there are thick fibers that run throughout the fruit. Tia Estrella sent me about 10 jobos and I've been eating one a day, sad that after 10 days there won't be any more until this time next year.
My uncle, Tio Yoyo, sent me a care package a couple of months ago with quenepas. This is a very addicting wonderful fruit that again only grows in high tropical areas. It goes by different names in different countries, mamoncillos, gineps, mamones, Spanish limes. The outer shell is hard, like a muscadine. And the flesh is pink, soft and fuzzy and acidic. There is a large round seed in the middle. When Kevin and I were in Costa Rica for our honeymoon many years ago, I discovered that they grow there as well. Every single picture from our honeymoon has me with a brown paper bag filled with the fruit and my hand to my mouth, sucking on the sweet soft quenepa flesh. Life cannot get better than this.
I also receive packages with fresh parcha, aka passion fruit. My sweet aunt Tia Ada sent me a few this summer and I was able to enjoy fresh passion fruit juice, just like my mom taught me to make. There's an involved, careful process of removing the seeds so it won't taint the flavor of the fruit. Oh, but the juice is nothing like what you buy at the store. Tart but sweet and orange-yellow in color.
Then there's tamarindos. My mom sends me these from Florida. This fruit is like a big brown bean pod. The flesh is also brown and soft, very tart, and the seeds are hard and dark brown. I make bottles and bottles of fresh tamarindo juice, keeping the brown shiny seeds for mosaic mirror frame I plan to make one day.
I'm so grateful for my family and how they spoil me with delicious natural flavors from fruit trees that God has so lovingly created. When I sink my teeth into a jobo, or a quenepa, or drink the pulp from a parcha or tamarindo, I can close my eyes and let the flavors roll around my mouth, my heart full of love and appreciation for a caring family and God's culinary artistry.
sábado, diciembre 01, 2007
sábado, noviembre 10, 2007
Coal on my lips
Our world market has been tainted with products that are less than desirous when it comes to quality. In the rush to produce more, questionable materials and practices are being used to produce goods that are potentially harmful to its consumers. And so we have lead in toys, tainted pet products, foods laced with illicit pesticides, even lead in lipstick. Now this was a shocker to me, since I've been painting my lips for the last 20 years. Fortunately my buttered rum lipstick shade that I faithfully get from my Avon lady isn't on the forbidden list.
Pretty much all my life I've been very conscious of what passes through my lips. My mom being the health conscious authority of the Tirado family has made it her life mission to ensure that we were kept on a healthy regiment full of legumes, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. Even during my rebellious years her image would miraculously appear on my shoulder when I would pass the sugared cereal section of the grocery store, admonishing me to keep on going and not give in to temptation.
I consider my lips to be a gateway to not just my stomach but also to my inner thoughts and feelings. Countless times I have blurted out thoughts - what in the world was I thinking of letting that out! Someone asked me a few weeks ago, "Where did you come up with that?" after I inadvertently said something that should have stayed right where the thought originated - in my head. If they only knew what actually never makes it out.
The Bible says, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Pretty wise words. And true too. Whatever we fill our hearts - what we see and hear, read and watch - that's what we'll talk about. That's why it's important to surround ourselves with things that are pure, noble, good, and virtuous.
And so as much as I watch the foods that pass through my lips, as much as I don't want lipstick tainted with lead to even come close to this important part of my body - I should take even greater care to watch that which comes in contact with my other senses. Like Isaiah of old, I identify with those unclean lips. And I desperately need live coal taken from the altar of the Most High to cleanse and purge my lips and take my iniquity away. (Isaiah 6:5-7)
Pretty much all my life I've been very conscious of what passes through my lips. My mom being the health conscious authority of the Tirado family has made it her life mission to ensure that we were kept on a healthy regiment full of legumes, nuts, fruits, and vegetables. Even during my rebellious years her image would miraculously appear on my shoulder when I would pass the sugared cereal section of the grocery store, admonishing me to keep on going and not give in to temptation.
I consider my lips to be a gateway to not just my stomach but also to my inner thoughts and feelings. Countless times I have blurted out thoughts - what in the world was I thinking of letting that out! Someone asked me a few weeks ago, "Where did you come up with that?" after I inadvertently said something that should have stayed right where the thought originated - in my head. If they only knew what actually never makes it out.
The Bible says, "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Pretty wise words. And true too. Whatever we fill our hearts - what we see and hear, read and watch - that's what we'll talk about. That's why it's important to surround ourselves with things that are pure, noble, good, and virtuous.
And so as much as I watch the foods that pass through my lips, as much as I don't want lipstick tainted with lead to even come close to this important part of my body - I should take even greater care to watch that which comes in contact with my other senses. Like Isaiah of old, I identify with those unclean lips. And I desperately need live coal taken from the altar of the Most High to cleanse and purge my lips and take my iniquity away. (Isaiah 6:5-7)
domingo, octubre 28, 2007
lunes, septiembre 24, 2007
Bambinos A-Plenty
There may be some truth to the phrase "it's in the water" when it comes to describing the phase in your life when so many people around you synchronize their reproductive systems and decide to have babies at the same time. I'm abstaining from water these days - please don't read into this and send Kevin your condolences. I'm literally only drinking bottled water and keeping away from neighboring water sources. No lie, for the next 6 to 9 months, I will be kissing and holding about seven babies from seven different friends/relatives. It's beautiful, really. Each so different, but all have 10 toes and 10 fingers and the cutest lips and chubby cheeks. Different skin colors and amounts of hair, but all will make gurgly noises and have that sweet bambino scent (prior to diaper messes, of course).
Babies don't scare me. I love babies, actually. Especially in the winter, when their warm bodies radiate all that heat that cold-natured people like me love to soak up. I faithfully crochet little hats and scarves or sweaters and baby afghans. And I lovingly count each stitch and pick out yarns that are soft and cuddly. It takes me forever and sometimes the handmade gifts don't arrive until the child has graduated from high school. But I try.
The newest addition to the Tirado family was born on September 11th and I can't wait to meet her and see the rest of my family. I hear my mom gush about how beautiful she is and what a proud big brother my 2-year old nephew has become, and already I feel the tug at my heart. These little creatures have tremendous power over me.
Kevin and I are seriously considering adding on in the distant-near future. I'm not talking about our house remodeling project, either. I can hear the gasps and see the stunned faces. Yes, we've talked about it and continue to talk about it. To me, being a parent is such an awesome responsibility and not everyone is equipped for the lifelong task. I see my husband interact with children and I think it would be great to let him try out his Donald Duck voice with one of his own. The decision is so scary, though- we both have a lot of baggage and bad habits that we need to rid ourselves of. Throw in the mix all the genes from generations past, society, environment, a 13.5 year-old marriage, independence, stubbornness, afternoon naps, little purses, too many shoes, frivolous spending, a convertible car - and I have created an environment where a normal child cannot be brought into. Yet, it's the spiritual factor that has convinced me that it can be done. If it weren't for God's grace, there would not be a happy child living in this world. That's the only way I can look at it without running away from the thought of having children. As long as God is the central focus of this home, all members present and future, will fall under the umbrella of His love and it will be all right.
Babies don't scare me. I love babies, actually. Especially in the winter, when their warm bodies radiate all that heat that cold-natured people like me love to soak up. I faithfully crochet little hats and scarves or sweaters and baby afghans. And I lovingly count each stitch and pick out yarns that are soft and cuddly. It takes me forever and sometimes the handmade gifts don't arrive until the child has graduated from high school. But I try.
The newest addition to the Tirado family was born on September 11th and I can't wait to meet her and see the rest of my family. I hear my mom gush about how beautiful she is and what a proud big brother my 2-year old nephew has become, and already I feel the tug at my heart. These little creatures have tremendous power over me.
Kevin and I are seriously considering adding on in the distant-near future. I'm not talking about our house remodeling project, either. I can hear the gasps and see the stunned faces. Yes, we've talked about it and continue to talk about it. To me, being a parent is such an awesome responsibility and not everyone is equipped for the lifelong task. I see my husband interact with children and I think it would be great to let him try out his Donald Duck voice with one of his own. The decision is so scary, though- we both have a lot of baggage and bad habits that we need to rid ourselves of. Throw in the mix all the genes from generations past, society, environment, a 13.5 year-old marriage, independence, stubbornness, afternoon naps, little purses, too many shoes, frivolous spending, a convertible car - and I have created an environment where a normal child cannot be brought into. Yet, it's the spiritual factor that has convinced me that it can be done. If it weren't for God's grace, there would not be a happy child living in this world. That's the only way I can look at it without running away from the thought of having children. As long as God is the central focus of this home, all members present and future, will fall under the umbrella of His love and it will be all right.
viernes, septiembre 07, 2007
Life full of bug splatter
Smack...Splatter...Splat... I hadn't seen so many bugs on the front bumper of my car since my first experience with the love bug epidemic that hits Florida every year. Don't ever travel far and fast with a white car - it's nearly impossible to wash all the dead bugs off. I hand-washed my new white car with a rag and mild soap, attempting to recover the front end from the insect cemetery it had become. Kevin and I have just returned from a 2500-mile excursion through the northeast. Along the way, we managed to collect every species of insect imaginable. My car became an entomologist’s laboratory, a morbid collection of grayish matter and paper-thin wings. With my nose wrinkled and some warm sudsy water, I patiently scrubbed most of the bug particles from the front bumper, the hood, the windshield, and the side mirrors of my car.
I had been fussing under my breath, not enjoying my task, when a thought popped in my head. During my younger years, I had traveled on the fast lane, careening through life at high speeds, oblivious to the small obstacles that collided and splattered, leaving little marks here and there. It’s nothing, insignificant, that’s not going to matter later, or so I reasoned with the bad choices I made. But when life came to a standstill and I was left to assess the reason for my existence, the outcome from my collection of mistakes was disturbing. The worst damage was mental and emotional, not so much physical. I turned to God, the "Ultimate Carwash”, and He sat there, with a rag soaked in His blood, and lovingly washed away the debris from the mess I called my life. Not everything is back to being brand-spanking new, fresh from the factory, new-car-smell-kind of good. There are consequences to certain actions that we will always have to deal with. The good news is that God is here to help us deal with the consequences – and He empowers us with what I call measures: measures of faith, of love, of strength, of power – fueled by His Word through prayer, study, and daily communication.
I fall short so many times, running on empty, knowing what I have to do, how I need to connect, but being blatantly stubborn and lazy. Yet through simple tasks such as washing my car, God still tries to reach me, telling me how He has saved me and that He wants to empower me to live my life to the fullest.
I had been fussing under my breath, not enjoying my task, when a thought popped in my head. During my younger years, I had traveled on the fast lane, careening through life at high speeds, oblivious to the small obstacles that collided and splattered, leaving little marks here and there. It’s nothing, insignificant, that’s not going to matter later, or so I reasoned with the bad choices I made. But when life came to a standstill and I was left to assess the reason for my existence, the outcome from my collection of mistakes was disturbing. The worst damage was mental and emotional, not so much physical. I turned to God, the "Ultimate Carwash”, and He sat there, with a rag soaked in His blood, and lovingly washed away the debris from the mess I called my life. Not everything is back to being brand-spanking new, fresh from the factory, new-car-smell-kind of good. There are consequences to certain actions that we will always have to deal with. The good news is that God is here to help us deal with the consequences – and He empowers us with what I call measures: measures of faith, of love, of strength, of power – fueled by His Word through prayer, study, and daily communication.
I fall short so many times, running on empty, knowing what I have to do, how I need to connect, but being blatantly stubborn and lazy. Yet through simple tasks such as washing my car, God still tries to reach me, telling me how He has saved me and that He wants to empower me to live my life to the fullest.
jueves, agosto 23, 2007
A little break...
Vacation... This powerful word has immobilized my creativity and ruined my work ethic. I've really been good-for-nothing these last few days. And I've yet to pack, clean, organize, and leave my affairs in order so I won't be too stressed when I get back. Kevin and I are leaving for our East Coast tour tomorrow afternoon. We have a huge adventure planned, visiting some family, and ending up in little coastal New England towns to rejuvenate our bodies and minds. We're strapping our bikes to our little Z-4 convertible, hoping we won't topple over from the height of our load. Big fun.
Won't be blogging any - in fact I'm looking forward to 10 days of no computer access. We'll see how long it lasts. Of course Kevin has to check up on his fantasy football team. I, on the other hand, will abstain from anything electronic, except ATM's, an electric razor, and maybe a phone.
Check back after Labor Day!
Won't be blogging any - in fact I'm looking forward to 10 days of no computer access. We'll see how long it lasts. Of course Kevin has to check up on his fantasy football team. I, on the other hand, will abstain from anything electronic, except ATM's, an electric razor, and maybe a phone.
Check back after Labor Day!
viernes, agosto 10, 2007
Expressions of Faith
Coming to the realization
that there is hope,
that death is not final,
that love is forever;
That there’s Someone
who can heal wounds,
find the lost,
comfort the grieving,
instill peace during troubling times.
How can I express my faith?
So much to receive
so little do I give.
How can I express my faith?
Will a smile suffice,
perhaps a hug, a prayer?
Thanksgiving, gratitude,
mercy, commitment;
Is it enough?
After all, He devoted His life,
eternal as it was,
for my cause.
To give me hope
and save me from grave sadness.
That sacrifice, though so long ago,
gives hope anew
to all who accept through faith.
Love eternal,
love profound,
love with no beginning or end:
Unfathomable love.
How can I express my faith?
Expressions of faith,
not a one-time occurrence,
but a lifetime of giving,
and sharing –
forever loving.
that there is hope,
that death is not final,
that love is forever;
That there’s Someone
who can heal wounds,
find the lost,
comfort the grieving,
instill peace during troubling times.
How can I express my faith?
So much to receive
so little do I give.
How can I express my faith?
Will a smile suffice,
perhaps a hug, a prayer?
Thanksgiving, gratitude,
mercy, commitment;
Is it enough?
After all, He devoted His life,
eternal as it was,
for my cause.
To give me hope
and save me from grave sadness.
That sacrifice, though so long ago,
gives hope anew
to all who accept through faith.
Love eternal,
love profound,
love with no beginning or end:
Unfathomable love.
How can I express my faith?
Expressions of faith,
not a one-time occurrence,
but a lifetime of giving,
and sharing –
forever loving.
viernes, julio 27, 2007
More than meets the "I"
Transformer makeovers. As a twirly little girl, I used to love playing makeover. I didn't have fancy clothes or feather boas to play with, but I would fantasize about one day being transformed from a nobody to a princess. Eliza Doolittle, Anastasia, Cinderella... Hollywood has capitalized on this very little-girl fantasy. But not all makeovers are an improvement. I was watching a talk show this week- I don't know why, but my dead brain cells must have resurrected as zombies and taken over the few good cells I still have. Anyway, it was a show on makeovers - pretty girl makeovers. The first candidate was a poster child for all the 80's fashion faux pas every American woman regrets. I'm talking bleached hair, with the 10-foot cemented bangs, bright eye shadow and ruby red lips, all topped off with spandex. She was transformed with dark flowy, natural hair and make-up, and well-fitted clothing. I was optimistic after seeing her transformation; this show may not be so bad after all. The feeling that I was not wasting time worshipping the one-eyed monster was short-lived. The rest of the transformations were complete with hair extensions galore, outfits suitable for music videos, and fake excitement. One of the women stood out - she was very attractive in a natural way. She had short curly hair, a healthy complexion, and cool glasses - a natural beauty that only needed a little steering. After her day at the salon, she was given long, straight auburn extensions and an outfit that cried, "Look at me!" I actually thought she looked better before her makeover. The stylists painted her in a different picture from what she truly represented. She didn't appear too ecstatic about her new look and I felt sad for her, almost like she had sold-out her real self in front of national TV. Her 10 seconds of fame were marred by an image of someone who didn't truly represent what she was about.
Thankfully, I let go of those little-girl fantasies. I've come to the realization that the beauty from within is what shines brightest from without. God has played the major role in my total makeover transformation. He knows what I need - and it's none of this over-rated, materialistic, temporary glamour. Superficial beauty fades with trends, time and age - but the sparkle in our eyes, the fire in our hearts, and the smiles that begin from the inside is what captures and transforms.
Thankfully, I let go of those little-girl fantasies. I've come to the realization that the beauty from within is what shines brightest from without. God has played the major role in my total makeover transformation. He knows what I need - and it's none of this over-rated, materialistic, temporary glamour. Superficial beauty fades with trends, time and age - but the sparkle in our eyes, the fire in our hearts, and the smiles that begin from the inside is what captures and transforms.
jueves, julio 19, 2007
The Class of 87
"She's a brick - house..." Reconnecting with the '80's - that's what I'll be doing this weekend. Watching Kevin's old friends relive, reminisce, and recount the highlight of their lives - high school. Kevin's stories from his high school era have increased greatly during the last month when we decided we would attend his 20th reunion. Hearing him talk about his friends and their escapades, I couldn't help but go down the "what if" memory lane. All the crossroads I encountered throughout that four-year chapter of my life, if I took a left turn instead of a right turn, how close would I be to where I am today? What if I had concentrated less on math and science, and more on literature and music? What if I had defied my parents and pursued the crush of my life? What if instead of moving to FL my senior year I would have stayed in NJ? What if... What if... What if?
How many people waste their lives pondering what ifs? It doesn't matter, does it? What's done is done and there's no going back and doing it differently. The choices we made are irreversible. But there is hope for the bad choices - they can be improved. Even as we pay the consequences from mistakes in our past, we have the choice to pursue a better outcome. By wisely choosing the best option, I can improve my situation. Improvement doesn't always have to be measured by how good things are -it may take a while to see improvement. Even if things don't look rosy - a good way to look at a situation is how not worse things have gotten. I choose to be positive, to expect good, and to be happy with how my life has turned out. It will be interesting to see how many people I encounter this weekend that feel the same way.
How many people waste their lives pondering what ifs? It doesn't matter, does it? What's done is done and there's no going back and doing it differently. The choices we made are irreversible. But there is hope for the bad choices - they can be improved. Even as we pay the consequences from mistakes in our past, we have the choice to pursue a better outcome. By wisely choosing the best option, I can improve my situation. Improvement doesn't always have to be measured by how good things are -it may take a while to see improvement. Even if things don't look rosy - a good way to look at a situation is how not worse things have gotten. I choose to be positive, to expect good, and to be happy with how my life has turned out. It will be interesting to see how many people I encounter this weekend that feel the same way.
viernes, julio 13, 2007
Musings of a Birthday Girl
Birthdays are starting to be fun again. If I measured happiness in percentage across time, with each of my birthdays as a tick mark on the x-axis, I would have an inverted bell-shaped curve. (In non-statistic language, I guess that would be a "U".) I think I hit my low point right around 27 - having recently moved away from good friends and a city that I loved to inhabit. A decade later, I find myself more emotionally involved with situations removed from me, overtly conscious of my environmental imprint in this world, outspoken yet inwardly secluded. Gone is the Joy that wanted to be President and was voted most likely to succeed. Nowadays, I'm more content with fixing a yummy meal for my husband than climbing corporate ladders.
Having been born on the fourth of July, I've led a life pampered with birthday celebrations that always climaxed into fireworks. And no matter what day of the week it fell on, I always got a respite from the ritual humdrum of everydayness. For the longest time, I thought the whole world celebrated my birthday. Then I learned about American History and that bubble quickly burst.
I had a special birthday last week- it's the longest I've ever lived. My parents came to visit and I spent the day surrounded by people I love, taking part in activities that I enjoy. I actually celebrate birthday months now, and the good cheer follows me all the way to the 31st. My mantle is full of fun and sweet cards I've received from family and friends far and near. My heart is warm from the phone messages and e-cards I received, all the presents and pampering, and good cheer.
I have a hard respect for the life I've been given. I am blessed. I'm healthy and strong, smart and well thought of, I'm in love and loved by many. Gainfully employed, comfortably roofed, and fashionably attired. So many have so much less. Countless struggle exponentially. On this side of my inverted curve, I pray that I will share with the same delight of my childhood years that only a wise old woman can appreciate.
Having been born on the fourth of July, I've led a life pampered with birthday celebrations that always climaxed into fireworks. And no matter what day of the week it fell on, I always got a respite from the ritual humdrum of everydayness. For the longest time, I thought the whole world celebrated my birthday. Then I learned about American History and that bubble quickly burst.
I had a special birthday last week- it's the longest I've ever lived. My parents came to visit and I spent the day surrounded by people I love, taking part in activities that I enjoy. I actually celebrate birthday months now, and the good cheer follows me all the way to the 31st. My mantle is full of fun and sweet cards I've received from family and friends far and near. My heart is warm from the phone messages and e-cards I received, all the presents and pampering, and good cheer.
I have a hard respect for the life I've been given. I am blessed. I'm healthy and strong, smart and well thought of, I'm in love and loved by many. Gainfully employed, comfortably roofed, and fashionably attired. So many have so much less. Countless struggle exponentially. On this side of my inverted curve, I pray that I will share with the same delight of my childhood years that only a wise old woman can appreciate.
miércoles, julio 11, 2007
Sisters of my heart
For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a sister. Don't get me wrong, I love my little brother to pieces and wouldn't trade him for the world. I had fun dresssing him up when he was little and clipping shower curtain holders in his ears so he could have big hoop earrings to go with the outrageous outfits I would make him wear. (Sorry Jay - I'll pay for any therapy you may need as a result of the mental damage I may have caused over the years.) There was just something magical to me, an invisible bond if you will, when you share your life adventures with a sibling of your same sex. My mom and her sisters share that bond - a quiet aura that surrounds their hearts and transcends oceans, lands, and time.
So over the years, I've built many friendships with other girls, searching for members in my hood of sisters. I have been blessed with many of these sister-friends, some with whom I still keep in touch, even after decades of life trials and experiences.
For the past six years, a small group of my sisters and I have enjoyed one long-weekend every summer to bask in the sun and curl our toes in the South Carolina sand. These weekends have evolved into a culinary affair, with delicious recipes being shared as we dance around each other in the kitchen, laughing and giggling as we prepare our meals. We eat our delicious meals together, walk and play on the beach, watch girly movies, and shop the outlets. Most importantly, we share a love for Jesus, evidenced when we pray together and share experiences with each other. We have a large time.
I don't know what the future holds for us. But I do know that this past weekend was wonderful and I treasure the friendship I share with each of these girls.
So over the years, I've built many friendships with other girls, searching for members in my hood of sisters. I have been blessed with many of these sister-friends, some with whom I still keep in touch, even after decades of life trials and experiences.
For the past six years, a small group of my sisters and I have enjoyed one long-weekend every summer to bask in the sun and curl our toes in the South Carolina sand. These weekends have evolved into a culinary affair, with delicious recipes being shared as we dance around each other in the kitchen, laughing and giggling as we prepare our meals. We eat our delicious meals together, walk and play on the beach, watch girly movies, and shop the outlets. Most importantly, we share a love for Jesus, evidenced when we pray together and share experiences with each other. We have a large time.
I don't know what the future holds for us. But I do know that this past weekend was wonderful and I treasure the friendship I share with each of these girls.
Here we are after church, enjoying the sunshine.
Don't we look cute with our bathing suits?
And then there were four... Arjean had to go to D.C. for work. We wore matching shirts (fun!)
Blossoming Tracy
Birds-Eye-View Tracy
Sun-kissed Tracy
Sheila in the shrubs
New friends, Sheila and Arjean
Timeless Sheila
Elegant Arjean
Snuggle Bear
Va-va-voom Arjean!
Always Smiling Christi
Cute Bathing Suit!
Arjean did a great job taking this picture of me...
Soaked but happy!
sábado, junio 16, 2007
Mala Unleashed
Ever feel like throwing a tantrum just because you're in a funk? That's exactly what I did the other day. I don't know why I felt that way; I had gotten off from work at 11 a.m. and was going to enjoy a day of hard work around the house. But I was mean and totally disregarded the feelings of those around me (i.e. my husband). There's a term for my behavior, when I step out of my usual "joyful" attitude; it's called "mala". In Spanish, the word is defined as "bad". For me, I earned the label one hot summer morning at a train station in San Diego, California.
My co-workers and I were first in line at the Amtrak station in San Diego, where we had spent the first few days of our vacation together last summer. We were quite happy about being first in line, because we had just learned that the previous train had never arrived and we were probably going to wait in a long line of disgruntled travelers. As the arrival time for our train got closer, the line we had formed had grown exponentially and now snaked around the building. My attention was drawn to three young women who plopped against the wall, away from the line. They sat there listening to their music, smoking, chatting in Spanish.
As the arrival of the next train drew near, I overhead one of the girls ask her friends if they should get in line. "No", she said. "We'll manage to get in". And so she crept up and stood near the front of the line where we were standing. Her friends were obviously uncomfortable with cutting in line and stood back. I turned around and saw the long stream of people who were also waiting patiently in line. I couldn't believe the audacity of these girls, especially since I understood every word they were saying to each other, as they plotted and schemed. Someone behind me would probably not be able to get on the train after waiting in line in this unbearable heat, and here these girls refuse to stand in line and would probably make it on the train and comfortably travel to LA.
Ignited, I took up the charge of the underdog and I spoke up. I said to them in Spanish that if they want to get on the train they better stand in line with the rest of the people, that it wasn't fair that they cut in line, especially at the front of the line. That someone who has been waiting in line for hours would probably not be able to get on because of their rudeness and inconsiderate behavior. She fired back in Spanish that they didn't know that they needed to stand in line and that they had a plane to catch from LA for which they would be late. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That in Spain they didn't have to stand in lines. I had news for them: this wasn't Spain! And actually I have been to Spain and spent a good time at the train stations standing in line. They whined and cried, argued and whined some more. The security guard came and started handing out tickets to those in line. I brought to his attention that these young ladies were trying to cut in line. He got two other guards and said absolutely not, that it wasn't fair to those who had been standing in line for hours. That's when the girls turned to me, "Eres una mala. ¡Desgraciada! ¡Mala!" I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. Stick and stones... I told them that it's not that I didn't want them to get on the train, they just need to follow the rules, especially when they knew the rules and chose not to follow them. My traveling friends had been watching the whole situation unfold with curiosity and humor, not understanding what we had been saying to each other. They asked me what "mala" meant. And so I told them. They had witnessed a side of me that they had never seen at work, a confrontational, stand-up-for-my-cause-side of Joy that I keep hidden unless the underdog needs a hero.
We returned to work a week later, my coworkers telling the rest of my officemates the tale of Mala, the train-line superhero. And so the name was coined and is now used by all who sit near my cube. "Don't make me get mala on you!" is a frequent threat, all said with a smirk and sideways glance towards me. Mala hasn't surfaced since that hot summer day in San Diego. Until two days ago when I unleashed Mala on my poor unsuspecting husband. And it wasn't for a good cause this time. There was no reason or excuse for my behavior, except my selfish spirit taking over my joyful nature; probably an unusual mix of hormones and lack of sleep. I've apologized and tried to make up for my behavior. He was sweet and said I was allowed to have a bad day every once in a while. But still... Mala should only be let out when there's a cause that requires someone to stand up for others who don't have a voice. And I misused my gift.
What happened to the rude girls? They got on the train. With smirks on their faces, they got on the same car as we did, and found seats away from us. I was glad they were able to get on, as long as all the others standing in line were able to get on too. Plus my traveling friends had said they had my back.
My co-workers and I were first in line at the Amtrak station in San Diego, where we had spent the first few days of our vacation together last summer. We were quite happy about being first in line, because we had just learned that the previous train had never arrived and we were probably going to wait in a long line of disgruntled travelers. As the arrival time for our train got closer, the line we had formed had grown exponentially and now snaked around the building. My attention was drawn to three young women who plopped against the wall, away from the line. They sat there listening to their music, smoking, chatting in Spanish.
As the arrival of the next train drew near, I overhead one of the girls ask her friends if they should get in line. "No", she said. "We'll manage to get in". And so she crept up and stood near the front of the line where we were standing. Her friends were obviously uncomfortable with cutting in line and stood back. I turned around and saw the long stream of people who were also waiting patiently in line. I couldn't believe the audacity of these girls, especially since I understood every word they were saying to each other, as they plotted and schemed. Someone behind me would probably not be able to get on the train after waiting in line in this unbearable heat, and here these girls refuse to stand in line and would probably make it on the train and comfortably travel to LA.
Ignited, I took up the charge of the underdog and I spoke up. I said to them in Spanish that if they want to get on the train they better stand in line with the rest of the people, that it wasn't fair that they cut in line, especially at the front of the line. That someone who has been waiting in line for hours would probably not be able to get on because of their rudeness and inconsiderate behavior. She fired back in Spanish that they didn't know that they needed to stand in line and that they had a plane to catch from LA for which they would be late. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That in Spain they didn't have to stand in lines. I had news for them: this wasn't Spain! And actually I have been to Spain and spent a good time at the train stations standing in line. They whined and cried, argued and whined some more. The security guard came and started handing out tickets to those in line. I brought to his attention that these young ladies were trying to cut in line. He got two other guards and said absolutely not, that it wasn't fair to those who had been standing in line for hours. That's when the girls turned to me, "Eres una mala. ¡Desgraciada! ¡Mala!" I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. Stick and stones... I told them that it's not that I didn't want them to get on the train, they just need to follow the rules, especially when they knew the rules and chose not to follow them. My traveling friends had been watching the whole situation unfold with curiosity and humor, not understanding what we had been saying to each other. They asked me what "mala" meant. And so I told them. They had witnessed a side of me that they had never seen at work, a confrontational, stand-up-for-my-cause-side of Joy that I keep hidden unless the underdog needs a hero.
We returned to work a week later, my coworkers telling the rest of my officemates the tale of Mala, the train-line superhero. And so the name was coined and is now used by all who sit near my cube. "Don't make me get mala on you!" is a frequent threat, all said with a smirk and sideways glance towards me. Mala hasn't surfaced since that hot summer day in San Diego. Until two days ago when I unleashed Mala on my poor unsuspecting husband. And it wasn't for a good cause this time. There was no reason or excuse for my behavior, except my selfish spirit taking over my joyful nature; probably an unusual mix of hormones and lack of sleep. I've apologized and tried to make up for my behavior. He was sweet and said I was allowed to have a bad day every once in a while. But still... Mala should only be let out when there's a cause that requires someone to stand up for others who don't have a voice. And I misused my gift.
What happened to the rude girls? They got on the train. With smirks on their faces, they got on the same car as we did, and found seats away from us. I was glad they were able to get on, as long as all the others standing in line were able to get on too. Plus my traveling friends had said they had my back.
sábado, junio 09, 2007
In the Depths of Despair
There is so much sadness in this world. Every day we hear of atrocities against children, abductions of innocent people, families being targeted and killed... death, disease, despair. I live surrounded by good things, a haven hedged by love and protection. And I can't even begin to fathom what it would be like to live in fear and sadness. I pray that if one day I have to be raked through those coals, that my God will keep my heart unscathed. My soul felt heavy this morning from a couple of situations in friends’ lives, and I sought solace in the Word. I started reading about the kings and rulers during the times of the Israel and Judah conflict, way back during the prophet Elijah's time (1 Kings 15 & 16, 2 Chronicles 13). I started in the book of Chronicles and then went back to reference the same characters in 1 Kings. That's when I began reading about Elijah in chapters 17 through 19.
I knew the stories by heart, but this time I was captivated by the smaller details which I had probably read too quickly through before. Elijah had just experienced victory over the priests of Baal, and rain was now pounding hard on the parched, scorched earth as undeniable evidence that Jehovah reigns supreme over all. An evil woman makes a threat that sends Elijah fleeing to the wilderness, tail between his legs, defeated, after mightily demonstrating God's power just a few hours before. What hope is there for me, when this powerful man of God feels disappointment and discouragement, even after experiencing firsthand a miracle of great proportions? Come on! He had been fed by ravens, given bread daily by a poor widow who used flour and oil that never ran out, witnessed the resurrection of a child after prayer and supplication. How could this man of God run so fast and hard from a mere woman who worshipped gods of stone? And yet there, in the depths of his despair, God sent an angel to nourish Elijah, to prepare him for a journey where he could hear the still, small voice of the Lord. This the part where I was most fascinated. The angel brought him bread and a jug of water. Twice. That was a total two small loaves of bread and two jugs of water. The heavenly nourishment he received that day allowed him to travel almost 200 miles for 40 days through wilderness non-stop. Wow. I want some of that bread. During this dark moment of Elijah's life, God personally fed him and nourished him enough to withstand 40 days of trudging through the wilderness. And the thing is that God can do that today for us. I haven't felt despair like Elijah has, but I have faith that if I ever do, God will bring me bread that will sustain me and get me through my wilderness. The nourishment is not intravenous - there needs to be action on my part. But God has held up His end of the deal and brings me bread to feast upon. All I have to do is take, eat, and get up.
I knew the stories by heart, but this time I was captivated by the smaller details which I had probably read too quickly through before. Elijah had just experienced victory over the priests of Baal, and rain was now pounding hard on the parched, scorched earth as undeniable evidence that Jehovah reigns supreme over all. An evil woman makes a threat that sends Elijah fleeing to the wilderness, tail between his legs, defeated, after mightily demonstrating God's power just a few hours before. What hope is there for me, when this powerful man of God feels disappointment and discouragement, even after experiencing firsthand a miracle of great proportions? Come on! He had been fed by ravens, given bread daily by a poor widow who used flour and oil that never ran out, witnessed the resurrection of a child after prayer and supplication. How could this man of God run so fast and hard from a mere woman who worshipped gods of stone? And yet there, in the depths of his despair, God sent an angel to nourish Elijah, to prepare him for a journey where he could hear the still, small voice of the Lord. This the part where I was most fascinated. The angel brought him bread and a jug of water. Twice. That was a total two small loaves of bread and two jugs of water. The heavenly nourishment he received that day allowed him to travel almost 200 miles for 40 days through wilderness non-stop. Wow. I want some of that bread. During this dark moment of Elijah's life, God personally fed him and nourished him enough to withstand 40 days of trudging through the wilderness. And the thing is that God can do that today for us. I haven't felt despair like Elijah has, but I have faith that if I ever do, God will bring me bread that will sustain me and get me through my wilderness. The nourishment is not intravenous - there needs to be action on my part. But God has held up His end of the deal and brings me bread to feast upon. All I have to do is take, eat, and get up.
lunes, mayo 07, 2007
Hiatus Largo Impromptus
Grows sporadically in the spring, most frequently in areas where high volume of activity occurs. Actually, the title of this post has nothing to do with my botanical aspirations. It merely describes my prolonged absence in literary creativity. Not that I haven't been inspired by the daily lessons in life that so often come unexpectedly my way. There have been plenty of those opportunities- from the cute field mouse that was frantically trying to escape my clumsy feet the other day as I ran through my neighborhood- to my wonderment at the clusters of strawberries which grew and ripened in spite of the lack of sunshine, hidden underneath a plastic sheath. There just hasn't been enough time to sit down and take the millions of thoughts and words that float through my grey matter every day and transform them to word pictures worth sharing with my little world.
Writer's block. Lackluster novelty. Interest lost. I had nothing to say, plenty to think about, and no desire to share. But that's why it's called a hiatus - because eventually you come back. Refreshed.
Writer's block. Lackluster novelty. Interest lost. I had nothing to say, plenty to think about, and no desire to share. But that's why it's called a hiatus - because eventually you come back. Refreshed.
sábado, marzo 31, 2007
Why walk when you can fly?
"There I was on the side of the road, eyes fixed on the grass and trees that alluded me. I need to be over there. The lushness of spring is so inviting and there's no need to waste the little time I have walking this barren and dirty sidewalk." Those were the thoughts of a bird I saw the other day, walking on the side of the road. I know that's what he was thinking, because I'm talented in that way. He was determined to cross the road to where the trees, grass, and shrubs grew. The landscapes on either side of the road were so different from each other and I knew that bird was intent on reaching his destination. At first I wasn't quite sure what "it" was, because he stepped into incoming traffic and was attempting to cross the street on foot. Union Street is not that busy on Sunday mornings, but there are still enough vehicles out on the road to make crossing six lanes quite difficult. Especially when your legs are but a few inches long. The light had turned red and I was transfixed on the scene that was developing in front of me. I watched in horror as the bird attempted to cross, walking step by step. Oh no! Watch out!! I honked my horn as the cars on the opposite side began to accelerate, for the light had just turned green. I couldn't understand why the bird was trying to walk across the street. It was a large bird. With my urban and vegetarian upbringing in tow, I concluded it must be a wild turkey or something of that nature. One car swerved to the left to avoid hitting it, another did the same. I was glued to my seat, hands on my face, mouth shaped in an "O", heart beating fast as I waited for the explosion of feathers. But in a flash of a moment, the wings spread, the bird took flight, and projected itself upward away from the dangerous traffic. The bird was actually a duck, a large duck. With a sigh of relief, I remembered that the light had been green for some time and I needed to proceed before I became a sitting duck to some unobservant driver.
I asked myself why on earth would that duck not try to fly to reach his destination? Why attempt to cross the street on foot, when he possessed one of the most amazing of God's inventions: wings? Silly duck, I thought. His experience stayed with me most of the day, and though it's been over two weeks, I still think about this duck.
Funny, but I'm not that much different. How many times have I attempted feats of ordinary measures with talents that I do not possess? Instead of using the faculties that the Lord so graciously has given me, I stumble through life, walking and crawling instead of using the wings He has given me. How dangerous it is to cross the roads of life without using my head and the wisdom that the Lord provides. That duck taught me a very valuable lesson. And how awesome of God to illustrate it to me in person.
I asked myself why on earth would that duck not try to fly to reach his destination? Why attempt to cross the street on foot, when he possessed one of the most amazing of God's inventions: wings? Silly duck, I thought. His experience stayed with me most of the day, and though it's been over two weeks, I still think about this duck.
Funny, but I'm not that much different. How many times have I attempted feats of ordinary measures with talents that I do not possess? Instead of using the faculties that the Lord so graciously has given me, I stumble through life, walking and crawling instead of using the wings He has given me. How dangerous it is to cross the roads of life without using my head and the wisdom that the Lord provides. That duck taught me a very valuable lesson. And how awesome of God to illustrate it to me in person.
lunes, marzo 26, 2007
An Encounter With God
Thousands of bodies were pressed together, adrenaline pumping through our veins, I could smell the anticipation as we anxiously waited the "1...2...3...GO!!" from the MC at the microphone. A blue hue was emerging from the dark sky as the sun attempted to break the darkness. My mind was racing and my heartbeats were erratic, but I took a moment to look up to the dark sky and thank God again for allowing me to be healthy to train for yet another race. These last three months were more physically taxing than my preparation for past races. I had suffered through an inflamed IT band and a swollen bursa sac. New responsibilities at my job and personal life have increased my stress levels, and my body has felt the effects of having a busy and a very much "grown-up" life. God knows how much running means to me, how I connect with Him through prayer and song while I run. And yet, I refuse to allow running to become a god to me, for I will not have any other gods before Him. I pray that if my body image, my interest with my health, and the "high" I get from running ever become more important than my relationship with my Savior, then please Lord, keep me grounded, whatever it may take.
It's so easy for us to lose focus from God. As fallen humans, over the thousands of years that we have populated the earth, we have idolized everything around us. It's so easy to get captivated by the magnificence of how our bodies work and then we take credit for its beauty, its artistic and scientific intricacies. As I waited in that crowd of 15,000 strong, empowered athletes, the voice flowing from the speakers called for our participation in a non-denominational prayer. A local minister who was also running the race was invited to lead the athletes into prayer. He began with a few words of encouragement, inviting the athletes to an encounter with God during the race. Two men beside me scoffed at the invitation. Through my ears and eyes, their laughter was one of mockery. "Yeah, let's encounter 'God' as we run", they said. A man and woman beside them laughed heartily also, then added disbelief that this prayer was actually taking place. "I can't believe this is happening. It is the south, after all" I heard them say. Again, my heart felt heavy with sadness. Who are these people, who are we, that we may laugh in mockery before God, denying His existence? He created us: our lungs, our legs, the veins and arteries, which are our byways and highways to the powerful heart He carefully crafted. From the heavenly perch, I can imagine God sitting on His throne looking at this microscopic speck of a crowd of 15,000 people, hearing the laughter and mockery, a look of sorrow on His face. "I made you, I died for you, and I want you to live with Me forever. Whether here on this race course, or somewhere else in the course of life, I do want to have an encounter with you and offer you eternal life!" As I crossed the start line, I responded to Him "I accept, lead me on!"
I did very well on my race. My chip time at the finish line was 1:56:36 (pace time: 8:53), and I was #146 out of 2020 females in my age bracket (30-39). I ran this race harder than any of the others I have done. I'm pretty sore today, but my heart is full. And I'm feeling thankful and humbled that the Lord has granted me endurance, good health, and a supporting husband. Speaking of husbands, check out Kevin's blog for some great pictures he took of the event. I told him he stole my thunder by beating me on blogging about the race last night!! When it comes to blogging, Kevin is hands-down the winner!
It's so easy for us to lose focus from God. As fallen humans, over the thousands of years that we have populated the earth, we have idolized everything around us. It's so easy to get captivated by the magnificence of how our bodies work and then we take credit for its beauty, its artistic and scientific intricacies. As I waited in that crowd of 15,000 strong, empowered athletes, the voice flowing from the speakers called for our participation in a non-denominational prayer. A local minister who was also running the race was invited to lead the athletes into prayer. He began with a few words of encouragement, inviting the athletes to an encounter with God during the race. Two men beside me scoffed at the invitation. Through my ears and eyes, their laughter was one of mockery. "Yeah, let's encounter 'God' as we run", they said. A man and woman beside them laughed heartily also, then added disbelief that this prayer was actually taking place. "I can't believe this is happening. It is the south, after all" I heard them say. Again, my heart felt heavy with sadness. Who are these people, who are we, that we may laugh in mockery before God, denying His existence? He created us: our lungs, our legs, the veins and arteries, which are our byways and highways to the powerful heart He carefully crafted. From the heavenly perch, I can imagine God sitting on His throne looking at this microscopic speck of a crowd of 15,000 people, hearing the laughter and mockery, a look of sorrow on His face. "I made you, I died for you, and I want you to live with Me forever. Whether here on this race course, or somewhere else in the course of life, I do want to have an encounter with you and offer you eternal life!" As I crossed the start line, I responded to Him "I accept, lead me on!"
I did very well on my race. My chip time at the finish line was 1:56:36 (pace time: 8:53), and I was #146 out of 2020 females in my age bracket (30-39). I ran this race harder than any of the others I have done. I'm pretty sore today, but my heart is full. And I'm feeling thankful and humbled that the Lord has granted me endurance, good health, and a supporting husband. Speaking of husbands, check out Kevin's blog for some great pictures he took of the event. I told him he stole my thunder by beating me on blogging about the race last night!! When it comes to blogging, Kevin is hands-down the winner!
viernes, marzo 16, 2007
The Music of Friendship
For as long as I can remember, most of the individuals that make up my circle of friends have a common denominator: music. It all started with my best friend's sister, Maribel. I had been taking piano lessons for about two or three years. I hadn't really played in public, except for an old Spanish bolero song or two that the occasional pleading family member or visitor who would force, I mean, request me to play. I had been practicing daily, fascinated by the mathematical logic that comprises music, the Italian terms rolling off my tongue as if I was a native speaker, and the black specks called notes that danced in front of my eyes as I interpreted their meaning on ivory keys. For two years, my growing talent was a well-kept secret. That is until my best friend, Nanette, told her older sister that my piano playing was getting pretty good for a ten year-old. She wanted to sing at church and asked me to play for her. So I did. I played straight from my little heart, somewhat scared, but I managed to keep my eyes on the music and block out the people around me. I became the background: the small, insignificant details that surround a model in a painting. Yet without those details, the model's imperfections are brought to light. I was the adjectives and adverbs, the euphemisms and metaphors that support a storyline. Without them, the narrative is bland and not worth telling. I enjoyed playing so much that I decided I would always play for others to sing. And so began a life-long journey of musical friends: Broadway, hymns, jazz, Gospel, sacred, and contemporary Christian. I've played it all, for others to sing. And I love it.
I have a group of friends from church, and we've been getting together since October to sing- harmonizing, arranging music, laughing. It's a lot of fun and also a lot of work. We've performed at our local church a few times already and our sound is pretty good. Tight harmonies, the melodious intonations of female voices floating through the air, the words praising our risen Savior, all of it makes the time and effort we put into learning music together worthwhile. It's sweet to the ears, light on the heart, and lovely to behold. That's what music is to me. At certain moments, some of us have experienced goose bumps and realized that a song has touched us; the harmonies sung just right, the meaning of the words impacting our hearts. Ministering to each other through laughter and prayer, the occasional kind word of support, and ministering to others who listen to us - that's what this group is about. And the friendships I'm developing with each of the girls, especially the ones I don't know that well, are becoming important part to me.
Here are some pictures of a vespers service we presented at a nearby church last weekend. We shared from our hearts, through spoken word and song.
Here is the talented and beautiful D, always enjoying herself as she shares her love for God and His music.
The "trio": mother & daughter team Melanie and Megan, and long-time friend Jennifer
Jennifer singing "O Calvary's Lamb", a beautiful song about our Savior.
Arjean and I practicing before her big "American" debut.
I have a group of friends from church, and we've been getting together since October to sing- harmonizing, arranging music, laughing. It's a lot of fun and also a lot of work. We've performed at our local church a few times already and our sound is pretty good. Tight harmonies, the melodious intonations of female voices floating through the air, the words praising our risen Savior, all of it makes the time and effort we put into learning music together worthwhile. It's sweet to the ears, light on the heart, and lovely to behold. That's what music is to me. At certain moments, some of us have experienced goose bumps and realized that a song has touched us; the harmonies sung just right, the meaning of the words impacting our hearts. Ministering to each other through laughter and prayer, the occasional kind word of support, and ministering to others who listen to us - that's what this group is about. And the friendships I'm developing with each of the girls, especially the ones I don't know that well, are becoming important part to me.
Here are some pictures of a vespers service we presented at a nearby church last weekend. We shared from our hearts, through spoken word and song.
Here is the talented and beautiful D, always enjoying herself as she shares her love for God and His music.
The "trio": mother & daughter team Melanie and Megan, and long-time friend Jennifer
Jennifer singing "O Calvary's Lamb", a beautiful song about our Savior.
Arjean and I practicing before her big "American" debut.
miércoles, febrero 21, 2007
Simple Words
Defeated and dejected, I slowly made my way back to my desk. It had been a challenging morning, and I couldn't seem to get motivated and excited about the projects I have been working on. With no end in sight to the madness that makes up my corporate world, I admitted failure and plopped in my chair. The light on my phone indicated yet another voice mail that had to be answered, another request I wouldn't be able to complete on time or correctly. Inwardly, I let out another "Oy vay!" and picked up the receiver. The message was from an unknown caller, and I perked up when I heard the greeting. "Hi Joy, it's Lisa!" My friend Lisa from Florida had called. With her mellow voice and distinct Boston accent, she recounted how enchanting her daughter looked on her first birthday party, wearing the simple but lovely dress I had bought her for Christmas. She looked absolutely beautiful and everyone gushed over her threads. "Thank you for the gift," Lisa said. Simple words, but my spirit and spunk rebounded and I sat straighter in my chair, with a new determination to make the most of my day. Little did Lisa know that her sweet, short message made all the difference for me that day. I listened to her message twice, wishing I had been there to see and hug that little one year-old miss with the cutest dimples I've ever seen.
So the next time I get the urge to call and leave a message for someone, I think I will. I'll remember what a difference Lisa's message had on me yesterday and how a few simple, but thoughtful words really perked my spirit up.
So the next time I get the urge to call and leave a message for someone, I think I will. I'll remember what a difference Lisa's message had on me yesterday and how a few simple, but thoughtful words really perked my spirit up.
jueves, febrero 15, 2007
Joy's Spot of Pride
There's lots of construction taking place on the streets near my house where I usually run. I noticed this the other day as I sat in traffic forever, thinking how unusual it was to have so much traffic at this time of day, on this particular street. As I approached the bottleneck, I saw the culprit. A “Spot of Pride” was being built. Yup, these are areas in the medians all throughout the city streets of the town I live in that have been created as community projects for companies and organizations to maintain the landscaping. Some areas are pretty small, about the size of the front yard in a tight subdivision. Others are bigger, like a tiny park. They all have the wooden sign "Spot of Pride" with the name of the organization that is responsible for its upkeep. And they have small trees, cute little shrubs; some have seasonal flowers, mulch, and an occasional sprout of monkey grass. I think it's a great idea, giving the community a clean, green look and providing organizations the opportunity to give back to the neighborhoods in the area.
After I noticed that the traffic was due to the construction of the new spot of pride in the median, I reflected on the name "Spot of Pride" and its meaning. Do I have "Spots of Pride" in my life? But of course I do! And they have little signs with the names of friends and families that contribute to the upkeep. My favorite pastime, running, is a spot of pride. Kevin, my sweet hubby, is one of the contributors to this spot, encouraging me to maintain an active lifestyle, massaging my legs after a particularly hard run, clandestinely dropping a water bottle off at a predetermined location just so I could be refreshed near the end of a route. My love for music is a spot of pride that has been developed and maintained all throughout my life. There are lots of volunteers contributing at this spot – dozens of friends past and present, my parents, church congregations in many locations and of different denominations. This blog is a spot of pride – a new one for me- where I have enjoyed sharing my ramblings, coherent or otherwise, with friends and family, strangers, and the occasional googler who happens to click upon my written thoughts. I have rediscovered my love for writing and used this blog as an outlet for those thoughts that are either afraid of being spoken or for some reason may not fit into the topics of conversations around me. My joy is another spot of pride. No pun intended here, but the happiness and peace I experience is a result of the relationships I share with Jesus, my husband, my family, and my friends. Lots of work, prayer, and tears have been invested in my joy-spot.
One realization that I have come to as I type my thoughts is that for this hobby, talent, memory to be a true “spot of pride”, it has to be maintained by someone else. Someone else, not just me, must contribute to its upkeep. If we don’t experience these moments and activities with others, there’s no real happiness, no satisfaction that life has been worth the experience. I invite you to contribute to someone’s spot of pride. You’ll be pleased to see how our spots intermingle and bring happiness to even the occasional passer-by.
After I noticed that the traffic was due to the construction of the new spot of pride in the median, I reflected on the name "Spot of Pride" and its meaning. Do I have "Spots of Pride" in my life? But of course I do! And they have little signs with the names of friends and families that contribute to the upkeep. My favorite pastime, running, is a spot of pride. Kevin, my sweet hubby, is one of the contributors to this spot, encouraging me to maintain an active lifestyle, massaging my legs after a particularly hard run, clandestinely dropping a water bottle off at a predetermined location just so I could be refreshed near the end of a route. My love for music is a spot of pride that has been developed and maintained all throughout my life. There are lots of volunteers contributing at this spot – dozens of friends past and present, my parents, church congregations in many locations and of different denominations. This blog is a spot of pride – a new one for me- where I have enjoyed sharing my ramblings, coherent or otherwise, with friends and family, strangers, and the occasional googler who happens to click upon my written thoughts. I have rediscovered my love for writing and used this blog as an outlet for those thoughts that are either afraid of being spoken or for some reason may not fit into the topics of conversations around me. My joy is another spot of pride. No pun intended here, but the happiness and peace I experience is a result of the relationships I share with Jesus, my husband, my family, and my friends. Lots of work, prayer, and tears have been invested in my joy-spot.
One realization that I have come to as I type my thoughts is that for this hobby, talent, memory to be a true “spot of pride”, it has to be maintained by someone else. Someone else, not just me, must contribute to its upkeep. If we don’t experience these moments and activities with others, there’s no real happiness, no satisfaction that life has been worth the experience. I invite you to contribute to someone’s spot of pride. You’ll be pleased to see how our spots intermingle and bring happiness to even the occasional passer-by.
lunes, febrero 12, 2007
Farewell, My Purring Dove
"My beloved Zion has departed and now there is an emptiness in my heart." No, this is not a verse from the book of Lamentations or Jeremiah. This is really what's going on in my life today. Zion was my sweet, sleek kitty until yesterday, when I relinquished parental rights to his original daddy. Ours was a tumultuous relationship, but it grew into sheer love and respect for each other all the way until our last day together. Zion is a loner, a hunter, with a mean glare and a thuggish swagger. He could subdue even the most alley-ist of cats to a pitiful whimper. He has a large, aggressive head, a furrow of eyebrows that stare and induce fear in all. But then one nuzzle with that sweet pink nose, and the heart would melt with love. All barriers were broken when the purring started. "Prrrrnn, Prrrrn". I called him my dove. He truly sounds like a dove when he purrs. The house feels so empty without him here. He loved to sit in the shower with me, basking in the cloud of mist as if in a sauna. He would sleep near my head at times, peacefully curled, zzzz's intermingling with mine.
So farewell, my purring dove. I know you will bring much happiness and warmth to your new family. And you will always have a spot in my heart that is reserved only for my furry loves.
So farewell, my purring dove. I know you will bring much happiness and warmth to your new family. And you will always have a spot in my heart that is reserved only for my furry loves.
viernes, febrero 02, 2007
The Saving Grace of a Family Tree
Always fascinated by the stories and characters from the Old Testament, I had a sudden realization the other day, a "ha!" moment, if you will. I was captivated by the story of Ruth, that noble daughter in-law whose devotion, respect and love has been studied and shared, especially among Christian women. Everyone can relate to a facet of Ruth- from foreigners, to widows, to women with strong ties to their families, from the hopeless and the poor, to those at a crossroads and pivotal turning points in their lives. But my fascination wasn't about Ruth's devotion, her acceptance of her mother in-law's religion and God. It was the prelude to her story, the story of Boaz and his own mother that interested me anew.
I had never consciously put the two together. Bo's mom was Rahab, the harlot who hid the Hebrew spies. There's no mention of this in the book of Ruth. Prior to Ruth receiving Yahweh as her God, Rahab had done so. She was another foreigner, an outcast, from a people who had also rejected God and worshipped idols. I can imagine little Bo sitting on Rahab's lap, tenderly twisting a lock of her hair around his chubby fingers, as she told him (again at his request) the adventurous story of how she, along with the rest of the family, had escaped annihilation. The scarlet cord that was hung from the window was now humbly displayed above the door - a sign of deliverance and mercy, a sign of salvation. (This is my own imagination depicting this moment, but it could very well have happened in a similar manner.) She taught her son that though a sinner, an outcast and pariah, she was granted salvation, a gift for which she would be eternally grateful. She recounted how she heard that blast from the ram's horn, signifying a new chapter in her life would begin, and how the walls of the city fell down. But she and her father's household were spared. She taught her young son that it doesn't matter what your past is made of, how many blemishes you have on your record, when God offers salvation, you begin afresh.
And so Bo became Boaz, a responsible adult with a kind heart and a special softness for a young foreign woman in need of redemption. It's no wonder that he fought for Ruth. Well, he didn't really fight, but he did go to the elders at the gate of the city and state Ruth and Naomi's case. In faith, he followed the rules of tradition and offered the inheritance to Naomi's closest kin. Now Boaz took a risk by taking Ruth as his wife. Their first son together would perpetuate Ruth's dead husband's name through his inheritance. But it's Boaz's name that shows up in the lineage of Jesus, not Ruth’s first husband, and thus Boaz's faithfulness was rewarded. Boaz, his mom Rahab, and his wife Ruth - their stories about love, devotion, hope and faith- are eternally engraved in the lineage of Jesus Christ, the one true Redeemer.
I can't help but think that indeed it was a mother's story and love, and her devotion to God that allowed Boaz, without hesitation, to accept God's leading when Ruth came into his life. Before Ruth was born, God was preparing the heart of a man that would accept her for who she was, and redeem Ruth from her sad circumstances. How utterly beautiful! What wonderful hope the lives of these women, and this man that connects them, gives us. What a magnificent and faithful God we serve!
The experiences we encounter as we walk through life, when God is at the forefront of our decisions, have a ripple effect that surpasses flesh and bone. These experiences prepare our hearts for the unthinkable: the beauty of God's will.
I had never consciously put the two together. Bo's mom was Rahab, the harlot who hid the Hebrew spies. There's no mention of this in the book of Ruth. Prior to Ruth receiving Yahweh as her God, Rahab had done so. She was another foreigner, an outcast, from a people who had also rejected God and worshipped idols. I can imagine little Bo sitting on Rahab's lap, tenderly twisting a lock of her hair around his chubby fingers, as she told him (again at his request) the adventurous story of how she, along with the rest of the family, had escaped annihilation. The scarlet cord that was hung from the window was now humbly displayed above the door - a sign of deliverance and mercy, a sign of salvation. (This is my own imagination depicting this moment, but it could very well have happened in a similar manner.) She taught her son that though a sinner, an outcast and pariah, she was granted salvation, a gift for which she would be eternally grateful. She recounted how she heard that blast from the ram's horn, signifying a new chapter in her life would begin, and how the walls of the city fell down. But she and her father's household were spared. She taught her young son that it doesn't matter what your past is made of, how many blemishes you have on your record, when God offers salvation, you begin afresh.
And so Bo became Boaz, a responsible adult with a kind heart and a special softness for a young foreign woman in need of redemption. It's no wonder that he fought for Ruth. Well, he didn't really fight, but he did go to the elders at the gate of the city and state Ruth and Naomi's case. In faith, he followed the rules of tradition and offered the inheritance to Naomi's closest kin. Now Boaz took a risk by taking Ruth as his wife. Their first son together would perpetuate Ruth's dead husband's name through his inheritance. But it's Boaz's name that shows up in the lineage of Jesus, not Ruth’s first husband, and thus Boaz's faithfulness was rewarded. Boaz, his mom Rahab, and his wife Ruth - their stories about love, devotion, hope and faith- are eternally engraved in the lineage of Jesus Christ, the one true Redeemer.
I can't help but think that indeed it was a mother's story and love, and her devotion to God that allowed Boaz, without hesitation, to accept God's leading when Ruth came into his life. Before Ruth was born, God was preparing the heart of a man that would accept her for who she was, and redeem Ruth from her sad circumstances. How utterly beautiful! What wonderful hope the lives of these women, and this man that connects them, gives us. What a magnificent and faithful God we serve!
The experiences we encounter as we walk through life, when God is at the forefront of our decisions, have a ripple effect that surpasses flesh and bone. These experiences prepare our hearts for the unthinkable: the beauty of God's will.
viernes, enero 26, 2007
It's All Connected
The IT Band. Sounds like a bunch of computer techies making music. But no, it's gristle, those tough fibers that are hard to chew (if you're a carnivore). That's what I've been battling the last 6 weeks. The IT band (iliotibial, for those with anatomical smarts) runs outside of the thigh, begins right at the hip and attaches to the outside bottom of the knee. If not properly exercised and stretched, it can become irritated and inflamed. And that's exactly what I've done. For the last 6 weeks I've been unable to run no more than 3 miles at a time without some pain and discomfort. Extremely frustrating. Especially for me, since running is my release, my happy place. I haven't been in my happy place in 6 weeks. And that means that those around me haven't been in their happy place either.
So I sucked it up and went to my orthopedic doctor. And now I'm in physical therapy. I had my first session today and it was very productive. My doctor prescribed an anti-inflammatory to help relieve that part of my ailment, and my physical therapist is working on a stretching/cross-training/core-building routine for me. I don't like taking drugs; I even avoid taking aspirin or ibuprofen during that time of the month. But this non-running has really gotten to me. So like a good girl, I pop these pills religiously twice per day. And it's working! I'm scheduled to run 8 miles this Sunday as part of my training for another 1/2 marathon this spring, and I feel like I can meet the challenge. I'm not going to focus on beating any records this time. But I'm going to run this one smart, the correct way. I can already feel the difference from taking a good 15 minutes to stretch properly before and after a run. And cross-training is helping develop those muscles that I have neglected from only running.
I've learned a lesson. Even a good thing must be planned and done right. I can't just get up and run whenever I want all the time. If I want to maintain this mind-cleansing, soul-searching, lung-filling therapy called running, I need to take care of my body in such a way that will enhance my running ability and not diminish it over time. As tedious as it may feel, taking those 15 minutes before and after a run, riding a bike every-other-day, or some other different type of exercise, and weight training will enable me to continue running way into my old age. And another thing I learned: the core is essential to any type of exercise. Maintaining and building my core-strength (the abdominals-torso) will help stabilize my hips, and maintain my body in an even flow as I run. So it's not only my legs that need training - we're talking lungs, torso, abdomen, hips, calves. It's all connected.
The same applies to life. Think about it. We can't just jump into a job. We need training, learning processes and systems. We can't just sit down and play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony; we need years of practicing and lessons. I can't just go and marry the first guy that smiles at me. I need to be friends, learn each other's idiosyncrasies, fall in love. I can't just go to heaven. I need to accept Jesus as my Savior, read the Word, develop a relationship with Him, fall in love.
I'm being challenged, to change my learned behavior, to develop a training program for my body so I can keep doing what I love doing most. I think it will benefit me to do the same with my mind too.
So I sucked it up and went to my orthopedic doctor. And now I'm in physical therapy. I had my first session today and it was very productive. My doctor prescribed an anti-inflammatory to help relieve that part of my ailment, and my physical therapist is working on a stretching/cross-training/core-building routine for me. I don't like taking drugs; I even avoid taking aspirin or ibuprofen during that time of the month. But this non-running has really gotten to me. So like a good girl, I pop these pills religiously twice per day. And it's working! I'm scheduled to run 8 miles this Sunday as part of my training for another 1/2 marathon this spring, and I feel like I can meet the challenge. I'm not going to focus on beating any records this time. But I'm going to run this one smart, the correct way. I can already feel the difference from taking a good 15 minutes to stretch properly before and after a run. And cross-training is helping develop those muscles that I have neglected from only running.
I've learned a lesson. Even a good thing must be planned and done right. I can't just get up and run whenever I want all the time. If I want to maintain this mind-cleansing, soul-searching, lung-filling therapy called running, I need to take care of my body in such a way that will enhance my running ability and not diminish it over time. As tedious as it may feel, taking those 15 minutes before and after a run, riding a bike every-other-day, or some other different type of exercise, and weight training will enable me to continue running way into my old age. And another thing I learned: the core is essential to any type of exercise. Maintaining and building my core-strength (the abdominals-torso) will help stabilize my hips, and maintain my body in an even flow as I run. So it's not only my legs that need training - we're talking lungs, torso, abdomen, hips, calves. It's all connected.
The same applies to life. Think about it. We can't just jump into a job. We need training, learning processes and systems. We can't just sit down and play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony; we need years of practicing and lessons. I can't just go and marry the first guy that smiles at me. I need to be friends, learn each other's idiosyncrasies, fall in love. I can't just go to heaven. I need to accept Jesus as my Savior, read the Word, develop a relationship with Him, fall in love.
I'm being challenged, to change my learned behavior, to develop a training program for my body so I can keep doing what I love doing most. I think it will benefit me to do the same with my mind too.
domingo, enero 21, 2007
My Foundation, part deux
Okay, Part One was the logical study that helped me reason and learn. Now here's my personal application. I grew up a Christian. A Seventh-day Adventist Christian, very well indoctrinated in the teachings of the Word. I even spent the whole sixth grade in a Christian school. (Wowzers) Yet in spite of living in a Christian home, attending church every Sabbath, having friends who were Christians, I did not develop a relationship with Jesus Christ - I did not have a foundation that was built with that Sole Main Ingredient that is so essential to my eternal salvation. I had all this head knowledge, memorized Bible verses, knew the melodies from the hymnal and the heroes from the Bible, but somehow I never made that connection between words and heart. Sadly, my story is the norm and not the exception among Christian youth. When the tests and trials came, I failed and I failed badly. Looking at me you couldn't tell that I had fallen into an abysmal pit. But my heart was empty and my future had no hope. The stones, the gold and silver, from my childhood and teenage years had nowhere to stand on. I had no foundation. What good was it to have all that gold and silver, if I had no foundation?
I was 28 years old when I finally gave my heart to Christ. That's when the first stone of my foundation was built. I remember that night. I felt so wretched, so empty and drained. I heard the words I had heard over and over throughout my entire life, how Jesus wants me for Himself, how He can fill that void in my heart with His love. I accepted His invitation and it was instant overflow. I cried and cried. But they were really tears of "joy". That was only 8 years ago. And I still struggle, man do I struggle. I know I'm not alone. There are so many like me, so many who grew up with me, who are in the same boat. We learned, we were indoctrinated, we were taught, we sang and smiled. But open the doors to our hearts and you fall right in, no foundation to hold the house up. Some are no longer living Christian lives, are good citizens, great parents/friends/neighbors, but don't have Jesus in their hearts. Some will acknowledge that they are poor in spirit and will return to God to be made whole again. Those will begin to lay down their foundation, the Foundation who laid down His life for us.
It's not too late. The fire will come and we need our Foundation to keep us afloat. And after you have accepted the Foundation, study and pray, ask for leading, ask for Truth. There is gold and silver to lay on top of your foundation. Don't waste your time with wood, hay and straw. Be spared the loss.
I was 28 years old when I finally gave my heart to Christ. That's when the first stone of my foundation was built. I remember that night. I felt so wretched, so empty and drained. I heard the words I had heard over and over throughout my entire life, how Jesus wants me for Himself, how He can fill that void in my heart with His love. I accepted His invitation and it was instant overflow. I cried and cried. But they were really tears of "joy". That was only 8 years ago. And I still struggle, man do I struggle. I know I'm not alone. There are so many like me, so many who grew up with me, who are in the same boat. We learned, we were indoctrinated, we were taught, we sang and smiled. But open the doors to our hearts and you fall right in, no foundation to hold the house up. Some are no longer living Christian lives, are good citizens, great parents/friends/neighbors, but don't have Jesus in their hearts. Some will acknowledge that they are poor in spirit and will return to God to be made whole again. Those will begin to lay down their foundation, the Foundation who laid down His life for us.
It's not too late. The fire will come and we need our Foundation to keep us afloat. And after you have accepted the Foundation, study and pray, ask for leading, ask for Truth. There is gold and silver to lay on top of your foundation. Don't waste your time with wood, hay and straw. Be spared the loss.
viernes, enero 19, 2007
My Foundation, part one
Post pre-note: I thought maybe this could be explained in a few paragraphs. But no, long-worded Joy could not manage that. Because I feel it so important to share this with you all, I have divided my post into parts 1 and 2. Please come back in a few days and read part 2.
I learned something quite amazing the other day. These words cut cleanly and sharply right to my heart. In fact, they spoke so loudly that I couldn't wait to get home and write about it. It's funny how we hear words, sayings, poems, verses time after time and don't really get their meaning. But then one day, wham, the meaning is clear and rings so true. I wasn't quite sure how to approach what I learned, whether from a more logical, study format or from how I personally related to the message. And so I decided to incorporate both ways, since that is how my mind operates when processing something new.
I had an encounter with 1 Corinthians 3:11-15. Here's what the apostle Paul writes: "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." (NIV)
The verses prior to these related what some people from the church in Corinth were saying. Some were indoctrinated by Apollos, others by Paul. Paul said, "Hey, it don't matter!" What matters is that your foundation is based on Jesus Christ. A true relationship with Him, where what we do, think, breathe is Jesus Christ. These individuals who teach, lead, and preach are mere vessels used by God to spread the Gospel. They water and feed the garden, the flock. It is Jesus Christ who can only make us grow. He is the only one true Foundation. Everything else that is built on it may be toppled or burned.
Different denominations, churches, and movements teach different belief systems and doctrines. Some of these are not correct. Some beliefs are based on Biblical truth. Paul used 6 different materials symbolically representing what we may use to build on top of our foundation. Gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, and straw. Out of these six, only three could survive fire without being consumed: stones, silver, gold. These represent the Biblical truths that are right on, messages of truth spoken in the Word that God has revealed to us. The other three, the wood, hay and straw will burn up quickly. These are of course beliefs we have that are based from misinterpretations of the Word. How do I know if what I believe is correct? Through the fire, the fire that purifies and refines. Through test, time, and tribulation. If what I have built on my Foundation (Jesus Christ) is based on Biblical truths, then after the fire comes, I will receive my reward. If I have a Foundation, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and the materials I used to build on my Foundation were Biblically incorrect, when the fire comes, I will feel the loss. "You mean what I believed all this time isn't right?" I'll feel the disappointment, the personal loss of having been deceived or misled, or the emptiness from time lost on incorrect teachings. But here's the good news. Even though the beliefs and doctrines were not correct, because my foundation was in Jesus Christ, I still will be saved. It says it right there, "he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." The key, the saving grace is our Foundation!!
That's why it's so important to spread the Gospel, to introduce the whole world to Jesus Christ. They need a foundation based on Him!! WE need a Jesus Christ Foundation!!
Come back in a few days and I will share how these verses personally applied to me.
I learned something quite amazing the other day. These words cut cleanly and sharply right to my heart. In fact, they spoke so loudly that I couldn't wait to get home and write about it. It's funny how we hear words, sayings, poems, verses time after time and don't really get their meaning. But then one day, wham, the meaning is clear and rings so true. I wasn't quite sure how to approach what I learned, whether from a more logical, study format or from how I personally related to the message. And so I decided to incorporate both ways, since that is how my mind operates when processing something new.
I had an encounter with 1 Corinthians 3:11-15. Here's what the apostle Paul writes: "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." (NIV)
The verses prior to these related what some people from the church in Corinth were saying. Some were indoctrinated by Apollos, others by Paul. Paul said, "Hey, it don't matter!" What matters is that your foundation is based on Jesus Christ. A true relationship with Him, where what we do, think, breathe is Jesus Christ. These individuals who teach, lead, and preach are mere vessels used by God to spread the Gospel. They water and feed the garden, the flock. It is Jesus Christ who can only make us grow. He is the only one true Foundation. Everything else that is built on it may be toppled or burned.
Different denominations, churches, and movements teach different belief systems and doctrines. Some of these are not correct. Some beliefs are based on Biblical truth. Paul used 6 different materials symbolically representing what we may use to build on top of our foundation. Gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, and straw. Out of these six, only three could survive fire without being consumed: stones, silver, gold. These represent the Biblical truths that are right on, messages of truth spoken in the Word that God has revealed to us. The other three, the wood, hay and straw will burn up quickly. These are of course beliefs we have that are based from misinterpretations of the Word. How do I know if what I believe is correct? Through the fire, the fire that purifies and refines. Through test, time, and tribulation. If what I have built on my Foundation (Jesus Christ) is based on Biblical truths, then after the fire comes, I will receive my reward. If I have a Foundation, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and the materials I used to build on my Foundation were Biblically incorrect, when the fire comes, I will feel the loss. "You mean what I believed all this time isn't right?" I'll feel the disappointment, the personal loss of having been deceived or misled, or the emptiness from time lost on incorrect teachings. But here's the good news. Even though the beliefs and doctrines were not correct, because my foundation was in Jesus Christ, I still will be saved. It says it right there, "he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." The key, the saving grace is our Foundation!!
That's why it's so important to spread the Gospel, to introduce the whole world to Jesus Christ. They need a foundation based on Him!! WE need a Jesus Christ Foundation!!
Come back in a few days and I will share how these verses personally applied to me.
jueves, enero 18, 2007
Huh?
Sometimes words and phrases pile up in my head. They make sense to me, but when I write them down and try to read it from another person's perspective, I'm like "Huh?" Maybe you can decipher the meaning of my poem. It makes complete sense in my head.
¿Huh? - a poem by Joy
A complexity of characters, a myriad of faces.
Which one? Why that one?
Emotions...
A smile, a tear, a frown.
A thought, not deep, appeared, was said.
A phrase was spoken, the meaning intentionally hidden.
The past shapes, the future holds, the present suffocates.
Turns, stops, acceleration.
How did I get here from where I started?
Confusion, resolution, absolution.
Truisms, my credo, my stance.
What is my core, what fills, when does it stop?
Too complex, oversimplified, huh?
This is who I am.
Words and questions, empty yet saturated with letters.
¿Huh? - a poem by Joy
A complexity of characters, a myriad of faces.
Which one? Why that one?
Emotions...
A smile, a tear, a frown.
A thought, not deep, appeared, was said.
A phrase was spoken, the meaning intentionally hidden.
The past shapes, the future holds, the present suffocates.
Turns, stops, acceleration.
How did I get here from where I started?
Confusion, resolution, absolution.
Truisms, my credo, my stance.
What is my core, what fills, when does it stop?
Too complex, oversimplified, huh?
This is who I am.
Words and questions, empty yet saturated with letters.
viernes, enero 12, 2007
The Greatest Love of All
Whitney got it wrong when she sang "The Greatest Love of All" ...learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all... That's not true at all. I don't think I could ever love "me". I tolerate "me", most people do. But love? Nah. My goal in life is to have and keep God in my heart. Only He can put love there, because God is love.
I was driving home from work yesterday, listening to the radio. I like the stories I hear on NPR. Sometimes I'll sit in my car, parked in front of my house, my road trip completely finished, and I'll be sitting there with tears streaming down my cheeks, or laughing my head off, or just quietly musing. There's something enrapturing about not seeing a face and hearing a voice full of emotion talking to me about total strangers in distant lands. I was listening to Cpl. Jason Dunham's parents describe their son, the grin that went on forever, the sparkle in his eye that no longer is. Dunham was killed in Iraq two years ago and his parents received his Medal of Honor from President Bush this week. What did Dunham do to receive such an honor? He personified John 15:13. In this verse, God Himself describes what the greatest love of all is. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." In a split second, as Dunham realized that there was a grenade at his feet dropped by the Iraqi who had just grabbed him by the neck, he took off his Kevlar helmet and put it over the explosive. His actions saved the lives of his fellow Marines. But 8 days later, he died. The reporter asked Jason's dad what could have caused Jason to act so instinctively. He said it wasn't instinct, not at all. Even though it happened so fast, Jason made a quick, conscious decision to act - a thought process faster than the speed of light - to save the life of his friends. Wow. Even if I had had 5 more seconds to think, would I have done the same? Some could argue that hard-core military training prompted Jason to act. Maybe. But that's not the point that kept me tearfully sitting in my car. Would I do the same for my husband, my family, my friends, complete strangers? Do I have "The Greatest Love of All" in me? When faced with a life-and-death decision, would I be able to demonstrate the greatest love and put the life of others before my own?
I was driving home from work yesterday, listening to the radio. I like the stories I hear on NPR. Sometimes I'll sit in my car, parked in front of my house, my road trip completely finished, and I'll be sitting there with tears streaming down my cheeks, or laughing my head off, or just quietly musing. There's something enrapturing about not seeing a face and hearing a voice full of emotion talking to me about total strangers in distant lands. I was listening to Cpl. Jason Dunham's parents describe their son, the grin that went on forever, the sparkle in his eye that no longer is. Dunham was killed in Iraq two years ago and his parents received his Medal of Honor from President Bush this week. What did Dunham do to receive such an honor? He personified John 15:13. In this verse, God Himself describes what the greatest love of all is. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." In a split second, as Dunham realized that there was a grenade at his feet dropped by the Iraqi who had just grabbed him by the neck, he took off his Kevlar helmet and put it over the explosive. His actions saved the lives of his fellow Marines. But 8 days later, he died. The reporter asked Jason's dad what could have caused Jason to act so instinctively. He said it wasn't instinct, not at all. Even though it happened so fast, Jason made a quick, conscious decision to act - a thought process faster than the speed of light - to save the life of his friends. Wow. Even if I had had 5 more seconds to think, would I have done the same? Some could argue that hard-core military training prompted Jason to act. Maybe. But that's not the point that kept me tearfully sitting in my car. Would I do the same for my husband, my family, my friends, complete strangers? Do I have "The Greatest Love of All" in me? When faced with a life-and-death decision, would I be able to demonstrate the greatest love and put the life of others before my own?
miércoles, enero 10, 2007
Mi Mamá
Milestones. That's what birthdays that end in zeros are called. My mom celebrated life yesterday with one of those milestones. The big 6-0. Why do we start calling them "The Big ___-Zero" when we hit 30? When I turned 10, I didn't hear "Wow, you hit The Big One-Zero!" Maybe we should start doing that to make kids aware of the gravity of it all. Counting age in whole decades - it's a huge responsibility. So Fina (my mom) has been alive and kicking for six whole decades. I love my mom - she's a character all her own. Few understand the intricacies that make Fina "Fina". Having so many of her personality traits and having been around her for so long, I feel like I have a grasp of what makes her tick. And then she surprises me. Fina came from very humble beginnings. I've written about my Dad and how he came to the US, his struggles and how much he has achieved. Mami is right there in step with Papi. She is a wiz at playing jacks. Man, she can whip anyone with that crazy bouncy ball and those metallic pinwheel-looking stars. Her hand-eye coordination is of gold-medal-Olympic worthiness. And you should see her playing with her sisters! I can close my eyes and picture pigtailed girls with thin cotton dresses, kneeling on the asphalt, shrieking as the ball bounces and a jack is dropped by mistake. I have a new year's resolution this year to learn how to play jacks well enough to beat my mom. I tried to play with her over the holidays, but I was no match to the Jacks Champion of the Universe. So I warned her that next time I came home to visit, to be prepared to meet her match. I figured after all, I have so many of her genes, surely the jacks gene is in there somewhere. I wonder where I can buy jacks?
My mom shared some of her childhood memories with me during my holiday visit. I want to learn so much of my parents' history while I still can. I have so many vivid memories from my childhood and I cherish them. I know they do as well - but not all of their childhood memories are pleasant. Fina came from very humble beginnings. She was child number 6 out of 11. Her family was very poor - mother was illiterate, father a simple, but religious man. She wasn't enrolled in school until she was 9 years old. But once there, she was a star student - skipping grades and graduating at the top of her class. She was named "Queen" of her barrio three times, the Barrio de Hoyamala, which translates to "Bad Pot". Go figure. Each time she was named queen, her brother would buy some fabric from town, cut out a dress using her old dress as a pattern, and sew it for her, just so she would have something new to wear during the parade. She told me during my last visit that she would often go to bed hungry, and sometimes her older brother Raul would bring back a bag of peanuts from the festivals held in town. She and her younger brother, Pello, would ravenously eat the peanut shells first and then eat the peanuts - that would be their dinner.
Mami's home had no running water or electricity. Her older sister and mother cooked from a coal stove, for which they have paid a high price. My grandmother died of emphysema due to her smoking and cooking with coal. My aunt has major respiratory problems because of that stove. Thankfully my mom's exposure was limited, so her lungs are healthy. Mami's idiosyncrasies resonate from her humble beginnings. She washes Ziploc bags and reuses them over and over. She makes lots of food and freezes it for later. She's frugal but generous; a paradox of childhood poverty mixed in with current comfort and abundance.
And she feeds. Boy, can she feed. No one escapes from her home without a meal, or at least a glass of real fruit juice. Tamarind, passion fruit, orange, grapefruit, güanabana. Name it, she's juiced it. Her neighbor's grandchildren will yell from across the street, "Fina! Do you have cookies?" And they'll beg to come over so they can get their cookies. During the hurricanes of 2005, when the state of Florida was hit 3 times, she turned on her propane stove in the garage and fixed fish, rice and beans for all the neighbors. Whenever I visit, I know now to bring a cooler, because I come back loaded with arroz con gandules (rice & pigeon peas), pasteles (Puerto Rican tamales, kind of), frozen tamarind juice, yame... Mami offers visitors food because that's how she shows her love and hospitality. Cooking is something she does well, and she wants to share a little of herself with you. She's insistent too. I call her a food pusher, but in reality I'm turning into one myself. Friends that come to my house rarely leave empty-handed. I've turned into my mother!
I'm proud of Mami. She's worked 10 years-plus as a "Lunch Lady" at a local elementary school. She walks to school every day, sometimes sporting an umbrella to shield her from the brutal Florida sun. Little kids who live near her route have called her "Mary Poppins". She cooks everyday, prepares lunches and dinner for my dad. He's healthy and strong because of her 38 years of vegetarian home cooking. And she's adamant he eats healthy too.
So, yes, I hope I do turn out like my mom in a lot of ways. She's far from perfect. But she laughs, reads, exercises, cooks, and enjoys taking care of others. And I hope she enjoys many more milestone birthdays, with good health, a happy spirit, and a sound mind.
My mom shared some of her childhood memories with me during my holiday visit. I want to learn so much of my parents' history while I still can. I have so many vivid memories from my childhood and I cherish them. I know they do as well - but not all of their childhood memories are pleasant. Fina came from very humble beginnings. She was child number 6 out of 11. Her family was very poor - mother was illiterate, father a simple, but religious man. She wasn't enrolled in school until she was 9 years old. But once there, she was a star student - skipping grades and graduating at the top of her class. She was named "Queen" of her barrio three times, the Barrio de Hoyamala, which translates to "Bad Pot". Go figure. Each time she was named queen, her brother would buy some fabric from town, cut out a dress using her old dress as a pattern, and sew it for her, just so she would have something new to wear during the parade. She told me during my last visit that she would often go to bed hungry, and sometimes her older brother Raul would bring back a bag of peanuts from the festivals held in town. She and her younger brother, Pello, would ravenously eat the peanut shells first and then eat the peanuts - that would be their dinner.
Mami's home had no running water or electricity. Her older sister and mother cooked from a coal stove, for which they have paid a high price. My grandmother died of emphysema due to her smoking and cooking with coal. My aunt has major respiratory problems because of that stove. Thankfully my mom's exposure was limited, so her lungs are healthy. Mami's idiosyncrasies resonate from her humble beginnings. She washes Ziploc bags and reuses them over and over. She makes lots of food and freezes it for later. She's frugal but generous; a paradox of childhood poverty mixed in with current comfort and abundance.
And she feeds. Boy, can she feed. No one escapes from her home without a meal, or at least a glass of real fruit juice. Tamarind, passion fruit, orange, grapefruit, güanabana. Name it, she's juiced it. Her neighbor's grandchildren will yell from across the street, "Fina! Do you have cookies?" And they'll beg to come over so they can get their cookies. During the hurricanes of 2005, when the state of Florida was hit 3 times, she turned on her propane stove in the garage and fixed fish, rice and beans for all the neighbors. Whenever I visit, I know now to bring a cooler, because I come back loaded with arroz con gandules (rice & pigeon peas), pasteles (Puerto Rican tamales, kind of), frozen tamarind juice, yame... Mami offers visitors food because that's how she shows her love and hospitality. Cooking is something she does well, and she wants to share a little of herself with you. She's insistent too. I call her a food pusher, but in reality I'm turning into one myself. Friends that come to my house rarely leave empty-handed. I've turned into my mother!
I'm proud of Mami. She's worked 10 years-plus as a "Lunch Lady" at a local elementary school. She walks to school every day, sometimes sporting an umbrella to shield her from the brutal Florida sun. Little kids who live near her route have called her "Mary Poppins". She cooks everyday, prepares lunches and dinner for my dad. He's healthy and strong because of her 38 years of vegetarian home cooking. And she's adamant he eats healthy too.
So, yes, I hope I do turn out like my mom in a lot of ways. She's far from perfect. But she laughs, reads, exercises, cooks, and enjoys taking care of others. And I hope she enjoys many more milestone birthdays, with good health, a happy spirit, and a sound mind.
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