It's All Connected

The IT Band. Sounds like a bunch of computer techies making music. But no, it's gristle, those tough fibers that are hard to chew (if you're a carnivore). That's what I've been battling the last 6 weeks. The IT band (iliotibial, for those with anatomical smarts) runs outside of the thigh, begins right at the hip and attaches to the outside bottom of the knee. If not properly exercised and stretched, it can become irritated and inflamed. And that's exactly what I've done. For the last 6 weeks I've been unable to run no more than 3 miles at a time without some pain and discomfort. Extremely frustrating. Especially for me, since running is my release, my happy place. I haven't been in my happy place in 6 weeks. And that means that those around me haven't been in their happy place either.

So I sucked it up and went to my orthopedic doctor. And now I'm in physical therapy. I had my first session today and it was very productive. My doctor prescribed an anti-inflammatory to help relieve that part of my ailment, and my physical therapist is working on a stretching/cross-training/core-building routine for me. I don't like taking drugs; I even avoid taking aspirin or ibuprofen during that time of the month. But this non-running has really gotten to me. So like a good girl, I pop these pills religiously twice per day. And it's working! I'm scheduled to run 8 miles this Sunday as part of my training for another 1/2 marathon this spring, and I feel like I can meet the challenge. I'm not going to focus on beating any records this time. But I'm going to run this one smart, the correct way. I can already feel the difference from taking a good 15 minutes to stretch properly before and after a run. And cross-training is helping develop those muscles that I have neglected from only running.

I've learned a lesson. Even a good thing must be planned and done right. I can't just get up and run whenever I want all the time. If I want to maintain this mind-cleansing, soul-searching, lung-filling therapy called running, I need to take care of my body in such a way that will enhance my running ability and not diminish it over time. As tedious as it may feel, taking those 15 minutes before and after a run, riding a bike every-other-day, or some other different type of exercise, and weight training will enable me to continue running way into my old age. And another thing I learned: the core is essential to any type of exercise. Maintaining and building my core-strength (the abdominals-torso) will help stabilize my hips, and maintain my body in an even flow as I run. So it's not only my legs that need training - we're talking lungs, torso, abdomen, hips, calves. It's all connected.

The same applies to life. Think about it. We can't just jump into a job. We need training, learning processes and systems. We can't just sit down and play Beethoven's Fifth Symphony; we need years of practicing and lessons. I can't just go and marry the first guy that smiles at me. I need to be friends, learn each other's idiosyncrasies, fall in love. I can't just go to heaven. I need to accept Jesus as my Savior, read the Word, develop a relationship with Him, fall in love.

I'm being challenged, to change my learned behavior, to develop a training program for my body so I can keep doing what I love doing most. I think it will benefit me to do the same with my mind too.

My Foundation, part deux

Okay, Part One was the logical study that helped me reason and learn. Now here's my personal application. I grew up a Christian. A Seventh-day Adventist Christian, very well indoctrinated in the teachings of the Word. I even spent the whole sixth grade in a Christian school. (Wowzers) Yet in spite of living in a Christian home, attending church every Sabbath, having friends who were Christians, I did not develop a relationship with Jesus Christ - I did not have a foundation that was built with that Sole Main Ingredient that is so essential to my eternal salvation. I had all this head knowledge, memorized Bible verses, knew the melodies from the hymnal and the heroes from the Bible, but somehow I never made that connection between words and heart. Sadly, my story is the norm and not the exception among Christian youth. When the tests and trials came, I failed and I failed badly. Looking at me you couldn't tell that I had fallen into an abysmal pit. But my heart was empty and my future had no hope. The stones, the gold and silver, from my childhood and teenage years had nowhere to stand on. I had no foundation. What good was it to have all that gold and silver, if I had no foundation?

I was 28 years old when I finally gave my heart to Christ. That's when the first stone of my foundation was built. I remember that night. I felt so wretched, so empty and drained. I heard the words I had heard over and over throughout my entire life, how Jesus wants me for Himself, how He can fill that void in my heart with His love. I accepted His invitation and it was instant overflow. I cried and cried. But they were really tears of "joy". That was only 8 years ago. And I still struggle, man do I struggle. I know I'm not alone. There are so many like me, so many who grew up with me, who are in the same boat. We learned, we were indoctrinated, we were taught, we sang and smiled. But open the doors to our hearts and you fall right in, no foundation to hold the house up. Some are no longer living Christian lives, are good citizens, great parents/friends/neighbors, but don't have Jesus in their hearts. Some will acknowledge that they are poor in spirit and will return to God to be made whole again. Those will begin to lay down their foundation, the Foundation who laid down His life for us.

It's not too late. The fire will come and we need our Foundation to keep us afloat. And after you have accepted the Foundation, study and pray, ask for leading, ask for Truth. There is gold and silver to lay on top of your foundation. Don't waste your time with wood, hay and straw. Be spared the loss.

My Foundation, part one

Post pre-note: I thought maybe this could be explained in a few paragraphs. But no, long-worded Joy could not manage that. Because I feel it so important to share this with you all, I have divided my post into parts 1 and 2. Please come back in a few days and read part 2.

I learned something quite amazing the other day. These words cut cleanly and sharply right to my heart. In fact, they spoke so loudly that I couldn't wait to get home and write about it. It's funny how we hear words, sayings, poems, verses time after time and don't really get their meaning. But then one day, wham, the meaning is clear and rings so true. I wasn't quite sure how to approach what I learned, whether from a more logical, study format or from how I personally related to the message. And so I decided to incorporate both ways, since that is how my mind operates when processing something new.

I had an encounter with 1 Corinthians 3:11-15. Here's what the apostle Paul writes: "For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." (NIV)

The verses prior to these related what some people from the church in Corinth were saying. Some were indoctrinated by Apollos, others by Paul. Paul said, "Hey, it don't matter!" What matters is that your foundation is based on Jesus Christ. A true relationship with Him, where what we do, think, breathe is Jesus Christ. These individuals who teach, lead, and preach are mere vessels used by God to spread the Gospel. They water and feed the garden, the flock. It is Jesus Christ who can only make us grow. He is the only one true Foundation. Everything else that is built on it may be toppled or burned.

Different denominations, churches, and movements teach different belief systems and doctrines. Some of these are not correct. Some beliefs are based on Biblical truth. Paul used 6 different materials symbolically representing what we may use to build on top of our foundation. Gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, and straw. Out of these six, only three could survive fire without being consumed: stones, silver, gold. These represent the Biblical truths that are right on, messages of truth spoken in the Word that God has revealed to us. The other three, the wood, hay and straw will burn up quickly. These are of course beliefs we have that are based from misinterpretations of the Word. How do I know if what I believe is correct? Through the fire, the fire that purifies and refines. Through test, time, and tribulation. If what I have built on my Foundation (Jesus Christ) is based on Biblical truths, then after the fire comes, I will receive my reward. If I have a Foundation, a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and the materials I used to build on my Foundation were Biblically incorrect, when the fire comes, I will feel the loss. "You mean what I believed all this time isn't right?" I'll feel the disappointment, the personal loss of having been deceived or misled, or the emptiness from time lost on incorrect teachings. But here's the good news. Even though the beliefs and doctrines were not correct, because my foundation was in Jesus Christ, I still will be saved. It says it right there, "he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames." The key, the saving grace is our Foundation!!

That's why it's so important to spread the Gospel, to introduce the whole world to Jesus Christ. They need a foundation based on Him!! WE need a Jesus Christ Foundation!!

Come back in a few days and I will share how these verses personally applied to me.

Huh?

Sometimes words and phrases pile up in my head. They make sense to me, but when I write them down and try to read it from another person's perspective, I'm like "Huh?" Maybe you can decipher the meaning of my poem. It makes complete sense in my head.

¿Huh? - a poem by Joy
A complexity of characters, a myriad of faces.
Which one? Why that one?
Emotions...
A smile, a tear, a frown.
A thought, not deep, appeared, was said.
A phrase was spoken, the meaning intentionally hidden.
The past shapes, the future holds, the present suffocates.
Turns, stops, acceleration.
How did I get here from where I started?
Confusion, resolution, absolution.
Truisms, my credo, my stance.
What is my core, what fills, when does it stop?
Too complex, oversimplified, huh?
This is who I am.
Words and questions, empty yet saturated with letters.

The Greatest Love of All

Whitney got it wrong when she sang "The Greatest Love of All" ...learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all... That's not true at all. I don't think I could ever love "me". I tolerate "me", most people do. But love? Nah. My goal in life is to have and keep God in my heart. Only He can put love there, because God is love.

I was driving home from work yesterday, listening to the radio. I like the stories I hear on NPR. Sometimes I'll sit in my car, parked in front of my house, my road trip completely finished, and I'll be sitting there with tears streaming down my cheeks, or laughing my head off, or just quietly musing. There's something enrapturing about not seeing a face and hearing a voice full of emotion talking to me about total strangers in distant lands. I was listening to Cpl. Jason Dunham's parents describe their son, the grin that went on forever, the sparkle in his eye that no longer is. Dunham was killed in Iraq two years ago and his parents received his Medal of Honor from President Bush this week. What did Dunham do to receive such an honor? He personified John 15:13. In this verse, God Himself describes what the greatest love of all is. "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." In a split second, as Dunham realized that there was a grenade at his feet dropped by the Iraqi who had just grabbed him by the neck, he took off his Kevlar helmet and put it over the explosive. His actions saved the lives of his fellow Marines. But 8 days later, he died. The reporter asked Jason's dad what could have caused Jason to act so instinctively. He said it wasn't instinct, not at all. Even though it happened so fast, Jason made a quick, conscious decision to act - a thought process faster than the speed of light - to save the life of his friends. Wow. Even if I had had 5 more seconds to think, would I have done the same? Some could argue that hard-core military training prompted Jason to act. Maybe. But that's not the point that kept me tearfully sitting in my car. Would I do the same for my husband, my family, my friends, complete strangers? Do I have "The Greatest Love of All" in me? When faced with a life-and-death decision, would I be able to demonstrate the greatest love and put the life of others before my own?

Mi Mamá

Milestones. That's what birthdays that end in zeros are called. My mom celebrated life yesterday with one of those milestones. The big 6-0. Why do we start calling them "The Big ___-Zero" when we hit 30? When I turned 10, I didn't hear "Wow, you hit The Big One-Zero!" Maybe we should start doing that to make kids aware of the gravity of it all. Counting age in whole decades - it's a huge responsibility. So Fina (my mom) has been alive and kicking for six whole decades. I love my mom - she's a character all her own. Few understand the intricacies that make Fina "Fina". Having so many of her personality traits and having been around her for so long, I feel like I have a grasp of what makes her tick. And then she surprises me. Fina came from very humble beginnings. I've written about my Dad and how he came to the US, his struggles and how much he has achieved. Mami is right there in step with Papi. She is a wiz at playing jacks. Man, she can whip anyone with that crazy bouncy ball and those metallic pinwheel-looking stars. Her hand-eye coordination is of gold-medal-Olympic worthiness. And you should see her playing with her sisters! I can close my eyes and picture pigtailed girls with thin cotton dresses, kneeling on the asphalt, shrieking as the ball bounces and a jack is dropped by mistake. I have a new year's resolution this year to learn how to play jacks well enough to beat my mom. I tried to play with her over the holidays, but I was no match to the Jacks Champion of the Universe. So I warned her that next time I came home to visit, to be prepared to meet her match. I figured after all, I have so many of her genes, surely the jacks gene is in there somewhere. I wonder where I can buy jacks?

My mom shared some of her childhood memories with me during my holiday visit. I want to learn so much of my parents' history while I still can. I have so many vivid memories from my childhood and I cherish them. I know they do as well - but not all of their childhood memories are pleasant. Fina came from very humble beginnings. She was child number 6 out of 11. Her family was very poor - mother was illiterate, father a simple, but religious man. She wasn't enrolled in school until she was 9 years old. But once there, she was a star student - skipping grades and graduating at the top of her class. She was named "Queen" of her barrio three times, the Barrio de Hoyamala, which translates to "Bad Pot". Go figure. Each time she was named queen, her brother would buy some fabric from town, cut out a dress using her old dress as a pattern, and sew it for her, just so she would have something new to wear during the parade. She told me during my last visit that she would often go to bed hungry, and sometimes her older brother Raul would bring back a bag of peanuts from the festivals held in town. She and her younger brother, Pello, would ravenously eat the peanut shells first and then eat the peanuts - that would be their dinner.

Mami's home had no running water or electricity. Her older sister and mother cooked from a coal stove, for which they have paid a high price. My grandmother died of emphysema due to her smoking and cooking with coal. My aunt has major respiratory problems because of that stove. Thankfully my mom's exposure was limited, so her lungs are healthy. Mami's idiosyncrasies resonate from her humble beginnings. She washes Ziploc bags and reuses them over and over. She makes lots of food and freezes it for later. She's frugal but generous; a paradox of childhood poverty mixed in with current comfort and abundance.

And she feeds. Boy, can she feed. No one escapes from her home without a meal, or at least a glass of real fruit juice. Tamarind, passion fruit, orange, grapefruit, güanabana. Name it, she's juiced it. Her neighbor's grandchildren will yell from across the street, "Fina! Do you have cookies?" And they'll beg to come over so they can get their cookies. During the hurricanes of 2005, when the state of Florida was hit 3 times, she turned on her propane stove in the garage and fixed fish, rice and beans for all the neighbors. Whenever I visit, I know now to bring a cooler, because I come back loaded with arroz con gandules (rice & pigeon peas), pasteles (Puerto Rican tamales, kind of), frozen tamarind juice, yame... Mami offers visitors food because that's how she shows her love and hospitality. Cooking is something she does well, and she wants to share a little of herself with you. She's insistent too. I call her a food pusher, but in reality I'm turning into one myself. Friends that come to my house rarely leave empty-handed. I've turned into my mother!

I'm proud of Mami. She's worked 10 years-plus as a "Lunch Lady" at a local elementary school. She walks to school every day, sometimes sporting an umbrella to shield her from the brutal Florida sun. Little kids who live near her route have called her "Mary Poppins". She cooks everyday, prepares lunches and dinner for my dad. He's healthy and strong because of her 38 years of vegetarian home cooking. And she's adamant he eats healthy too.

So, yes, I hope I do turn out like my mom in a lot of ways. She's far from perfect. But she laughs, reads, exercises, cooks, and enjoys taking care of others. And I hope she enjoys many more milestone birthdays, with good health, a happy spirit, and a sound mind.