More than meets the "I"

Transformer makeovers. As a twirly little girl, I used to love playing makeover. I didn't have fancy clothes or feather boas to play with, but I would fantasize about one day being transformed from a nobody to a princess. Eliza Doolittle, Anastasia, Cinderella... Hollywood has capitalized on this very little-girl fantasy. But not all makeovers are an improvement. I was watching a talk show this week- I don't know why, but my dead brain cells must have resurrected as zombies and taken over the few good cells I still have. Anyway, it was a show on makeovers - pretty girl makeovers. The first candidate was a poster child for all the 80's fashion faux pas every American woman regrets. I'm talking bleached hair, with the 10-foot cemented bangs, bright eye shadow and ruby red lips, all topped off with spandex. She was transformed with dark flowy, natural hair and make-up, and well-fitted clothing. I was optimistic after seeing her transformation; this show may not be so bad after all. The feeling that I was not wasting time worshipping the one-eyed monster was short-lived. The rest of the transformations were complete with hair extensions galore, outfits suitable for music videos, and fake excitement. One of the women stood out - she was very attractive in a natural way. She had short curly hair, a healthy complexion, and cool glasses - a natural beauty that only needed a little steering. After her day at the salon, she was given long, straight auburn extensions and an outfit that cried, "Look at me!" I actually thought she looked better before her makeover. The stylists painted her in a different picture from what she truly represented. She didn't appear too ecstatic about her new look and I felt sad for her, almost like she had sold-out her real self in front of national TV. Her 10 seconds of fame were marred by an image of someone who didn't truly represent what she was about.

Thankfully, I let go of those little-girl fantasies. I've come to the realization that the beauty from within is what shines brightest from without. God has played the major role in my total makeover transformation. He knows what I need - and it's none of this over-rated, materialistic, temporary glamour. Superficial beauty fades with trends, time and age - but the sparkle in our eyes, the fire in our hearts, and the smiles that begin from the inside is what captures and transforms.

The Class of 87

"She's a brick - house..." Reconnecting with the '80's - that's what I'll be doing this weekend. Watching Kevin's old friends relive, reminisce, and recount the highlight of their lives - high school. Kevin's stories from his high school era have increased greatly during the last month when we decided we would attend his 20th reunion. Hearing him talk about his friends and their escapades, I couldn't help but go down the "what if" memory lane. All the crossroads I encountered throughout that four-year chapter of my life, if I took a left turn instead of a right turn, how close would I be to where I am today? What if I had concentrated less on math and science, and more on literature and music? What if I had defied my parents and pursued the crush of my life? What if instead of moving to FL my senior year I would have stayed in NJ? What if... What if... What if?

How many people waste their lives pondering what ifs? It doesn't matter, does it? What's done is done and there's no going back and doing it differently. The choices we made are irreversible. But there is hope for the bad choices - they can be improved. Even as we pay the consequences from mistakes in our past, we have the choice to pursue a better outcome. By wisely choosing the best option, I can improve my situation. Improvement doesn't always have to be measured by how good things are -it may take a while to see improvement. Even if things don't look rosy - a good way to look at a situation is how not worse things have gotten. I choose to be positive, to expect good, and to be happy with how my life has turned out. It will be interesting to see how many people I encounter this weekend that feel the same way.

Musings of a Birthday Girl

Birthdays are starting to be fun again. If I measured happiness in percentage across time, with each of my birthdays as a tick mark on the x-axis, I would have an inverted bell-shaped curve. (In non-statistic language, I guess that would be a "U".) I think I hit my low point right around 27 - having recently moved away from good friends and a city that I loved to inhabit. A decade later, I find myself more emotionally involved with situations removed from me, overtly conscious of my environmental imprint in this world, outspoken yet inwardly secluded. Gone is the Joy that wanted to be President and was voted most likely to succeed. Nowadays, I'm more content with fixing a yummy meal for my husband than climbing corporate ladders.

Having been born on the fourth of July, I've led a life pampered with birthday celebrations that always climaxed into fireworks. And no matter what day of the week it fell on, I always got a respite from the ritual humdrum of everydayness. For the longest time, I thought the whole world celebrated my birthday. Then I learned about American History and that bubble quickly burst.

I had a special birthday last week- it's the longest I've ever lived. My parents came to visit and I spent the day surrounded by people I love, taking part in activities that I enjoy. I actually celebrate birthday months now, and the good cheer follows me all the way to the 31st. My mantle is full of fun and sweet cards I've received from family and friends far and near. My heart is warm from the phone messages and e-cards I received, all the presents and pampering, and good cheer.

I have a hard respect for the life I've been given. I am blessed. I'm healthy and strong, smart and well thought of, I'm in love and loved by many. Gainfully employed, comfortably roofed, and fashionably attired. So many have so much less. Countless struggle exponentially. On this side of my inverted curve, I pray that I will share with the same delight of my childhood years that only a wise old woman can appreciate.

Sisters of my heart

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a sister. Don't get me wrong, I love my little brother to pieces and wouldn't trade him for the world. I had fun dresssing him up when he was little and clipping shower curtain holders in his ears so he could have big hoop earrings to go with the outrageous outfits I would make him wear. (Sorry Jay - I'll pay for any therapy you may need as a result of the mental damage I may have caused over the years.) There was just something magical to me, an invisible bond if you will, when you share your life adventures with a sibling of your same sex. My mom and her sisters share that bond - a quiet aura that surrounds their hearts and transcends oceans, lands, and time.

So over the years, I've built many friendships with other girls, searching for members in my hood of sisters. I have been blessed with many of these sister-friends, some with whom I still keep in touch, even after decades of life trials and experiences.

For the past six years, a small group of my sisters and I have enjoyed one long-weekend every summer to bask in the sun and curl our toes in the South Carolina sand. These weekends have evolved into a culinary affair, with delicious recipes being shared as we dance around each other in the kitchen, laughing and giggling as we prepare our meals. We eat our delicious meals together, walk and play on the beach, watch girly movies, and shop the outlets. Most importantly, we share a love for Jesus, evidenced when we pray together and share experiences with each other. We have a large time.

I don't know what the future holds for us. But I do know that this past weekend was wonderful and I treasure the friendship I share with each of these girls.

Here we are after church, enjoying the sunshine.

Don't we look cute with our bathing suits?

And then there were four... Arjean had to go to D.C. for work. We wore matching shirts (fun!)

Blossoming Tracy

Birds-Eye-View Tracy

Sun-kissed Tracy

Sheila in the shrubs

New friends, Sheila and Arjean

Timeless Sheila

Elegant Arjean

Snuggle Bear

Va-va-voom Arjean!

Always Smiling Christi

Cute Bathing Suit!

Arjean did a great job taking this picture of me...

Soaked but happy!