The Coat Giver

I have been recharging. My batteries are still low - but I feel the spiritual energy kicking in. It's great. I have been studying the subject of righteousness and judgment. Yeah, it's pretty heavy for my first week. But I like to jump straight to that which will stick to my ribs and not merely tease my palate. As a way to summarize and illustrate in my own words what I have learned, I wrote a poem. It doesn't rhyme. My poems stopped rhyming after high school. But it's my poem - the first one I've written in like 15 years, and I want to share it with you. Here it is...

The Coat Giver

Naked and exposed, I stand before the throne.
I think, "I don't deserve this,
Nothing I do will make my sin go away."
And I'm right.
So undeserving.
My selfish heart, my prideful spirit, the anger and hunger...
I'm so ashamed.
And as I stand before Him,
His eyes pierce through my soul.
He smiles and brings me a coat, tailored just for me.
"Put this on" He says.
"It will keep you warm and safe."

"She doesn't deserve it!" my accuser screams.
I hang my head, defeated.
I agree.
"Look at her, look at what she's done!
She has done nothing to deserve this,
And everything that goes against who You are."
"You're right," my kind Benefactor states, so matter-of-factly.
"But look at what I have done.
My sacrifice carries her to eternal life."

So, tenderly, cautiously, trembling, I put the coat on.
His righteousness covers me and I am so grateful.
I must tell others.
The pride turns to humility.
I hunger to share.
Selfishness disappears and in enters giving.

I choose to wear my coat today.
As I slip it on, I say a prayer,
A prayer of thanksgiving.
And I look forward to today.
How through my actions can I represent the Coat Giver?
He whose name is on the label-
The Designer and Tailor?
How can I model the coat He's given me
Through the runway called life?

I can hardly wait to get started.
Hey, let me tell you about the Coat Giver...

Recharged, how I love to proclaim it!

Story Part I - I was heading into town, meeting my friends Tracy and Arjean to go to the Greek Festival Sunday afternoon. I had just gotten out from my church piano job, and as usual, was running a little late. But I had the hindsight to bring the cell phone. Yes, as most of you know, Kevin and I bit the bullet and joined the 21st century last month - we got a cell phone. So I turn on the phone to call Tracy and tell her that I'm on my way. The phone dies on me!! The battery was totally dead. I mutter under my breath, having a cell phone is not really convenient when I forget to charge it. What's the use - I'm in the same boat I was a couple of months ago - running late and nobody knows why because I don't have a cell phone!

Story Part II - It's still Sunday. The Greek Festival was fun - food was as yummy as I remember it from last year. And the pastries are in my kitchen waiting on me to finish my run. I was happily trotting away on my long run - 9 miles. I'm half way through my run when my iPod dies on me. That's two electronic thingies that have died on me. Again, I had forgotten to recharge it after my last run. So I have the remainder of my route, 4.5 miles to be exact, to entertain myself with my thoughts. This could be dangerous. But this time I turned my thoughts upward. I started thinking about these two gadgets and how it's my responsibility when I use them, to make sure they have enough life to get me through the day's activities. And wow, how true is that when I make the same comparison to my life. If I don't "charge" myself, how am I expected to get through the day's activities with a positive attitude? And what about when I run into those major road blocks and I don't have enough juice to even assess the situation? That was twice in one day that a gadget died on me - I think God wanted me to make that connection and learn from those two simple experiences. I need to recharge myself every day - spending time with Him in study and prayer so I can face life, well equipped and healthy.

I want there to be a Story Part III. But I need to learn from parts I and II. And I'm going to make myself accountable to the world. This is it. I'm writing it down for all to read. (All five of you that read my blog!) I have a slot of about 45 minutes from when I get home from work and when Kevin gets home. I hereby dedicate that time to spend in prayer and study. That's going to be me, plugged into an outlet, recharging myself in God. I will start tomorrow. And I will let you know how I do with this during this first week. Hold me accountable, okay? Write me back periodically and ask me how I'm doing. I'm not a morning person, so reading in the morning doesn't work. Tried it. Studying at night makes me sleepy. But studying in the late afternoon would be a great start until I'm so immersed that it will spill over into the night and morning. Pray for me as I begin my new journey. I need to be recharged!

The Inevitable, Most-Dependable World of Change

How many times have you heard the expression, "Change, it's inevitable"? Is it true, though? Is the word "inevitable" part of the definition of the word "change"? When I think of change, I do so in the context of regularity, routine. I have a routine, something I do either in the same way or at the same time every time, and then WHAM! the monkey wrench rears its head and in barges Mr. Change. Can routine stay forever? Or will there always be change? I think there will always be change. I think change has always been around. We change from the moment we're conceived all the way past the moment we die. Our bodies are constantly changing. So it is inevitable. Is God a God of Change? I see Him promote change. "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Gen 1:1 And then He created light. And then He separated the water from the sky. And then dry land... Day after day, He created and changed, and added. But His word says that He does not change. “For I am the LORD, I do not change..." (Malachi 3:6) I am glad for that. He encourages me to change, to grow, to be Christ-like. To be like Him is the ultimate goal for me, and it's important for me that He doesn't change. So as long as I'm still this sinful, immature and selfish human, and I strive to be like my Jesus, change is inevitable.

So why this philosophical discussion on change? Well, maybe this post is not as philosophical as I would think, but more a platform to voice the ramblings in my head. I've been challenged with change this week. It's not comfortable right now. But like someone told me today, my goal is to be Christ-like, at work and in my personal life. I totally believe God is in control of my life. And the changes that occur, the opportunities that come my way must be viewed in the context of what God wants for me. If today's change will make me stronger to face tomorrow, then by all means, bring it on!

Mi Tributo

September 11, 2001 took the lives of many loved ones. People we knew, people we might have known had they lived. We all felt the impact, the force of destruction and death, as it left us vulnerable and feeling so very mortal. There are two people I would like pay tribute to, on this somber five-year anniversary. One, a childhood friend. The other, the daughter of someone I was close to during those years when I was trying to make my way into the professional career-world.

The Mother and Daughter.
Mary Wainio had an easy, ready laugh. She had that sparkle in her eye that told you she was up to something. Whether it was bringing her famous brownies or chocolate cake to the office, or making me a pot of her famous Baltimore spaghetti, she loved life and those around her knew it. I met Mary when she moved down from Baltimore to Atlanta to work at the office of a group of research hematology-oncology doctors. I worked there too and we became fast friends. She always talked proudly about her kids, Tom and Beth. And she quickly made me into her surrogate Atlanta-daughter. I'm not one to pass up a surrogate mom, and we hit it off. During that awkward 6-week period between apartments and the wedding, Mary opened up her home to me, for free, and it was great to come home to her and her two sweet kitties. Mary too found love and was married to Jay soon after. Tom and Beth couldn't make the ceremony at the courthouse, so her Atlanta kids stepped in - Kevin and me. She later had a small, joyful reception and I had the privilege of meeting her children - I felt like I knew them so well. Honor Elizabeth Wainio had an easy smile, like her mother, that lit up her eyes. She had gone to college in Baltimore and I learned later was working for the Discovery Channel stores as a district manager in New Jersey. Beth did very well for herself and Mary was so proud of her. She had the opportunity to take a dream trip to Europe for two weeks to visit friends in Paris and Italy. She had just returned from this trip and was heading to San Francisco for a business trip. At the last minute, she decided to change her flight to take a direct flight to San Francisco, a decision that changed our lives forever. You see, she was on Flight 93 that crashed in Pennsylvania. Her mom has lost that sparkle in her eyes. She lost it on that fateful day on September 11, 2001, when she said farewell to her daughter.


The Childhood Friend
He was a sweet boy, with the cutest freckles across his nose. I had just arrived from Puerto Rico to Perth Amboy, NJ and was so happy to see other fellow Boricuas in the classroom with me. Richie was in my classes from 2nd grade until high school. He was always friendly and caring, and an awesome drummer! I lost touch with him during high school when he went on to vocational-technical high school and then I later moved to Florida. Traumatized about what happened on September 11th, a few weeks later I was scouring the pages that listed the names of victims from the World Trade Center. I came across Richie's name and his picture and my heart stopped. I couldn't believe it was him. I quickly emailed old friends from NJ- Elias, Nanette, Migdalia to verify what I was reading. Yes, it was Richard. Though I hadn't seen him in over 16 years, my memories took me back to my second grade classroom and a sweet boy who befriended a non-english speaking girl in pigtails. I learned from the memorials written about Richard that he worked for the New Jersey - New York Port Authority. That he had turned into quite a worker for the community, working for the volunteer fire department and emergency squad, and as an instructor at the police academy. I was listening to NPR one afternoon in October 2001, when the commentators were interviewing police officers who were at the World Trade Center and had survived. One of the police officers was talking about those last minutes before the towers fell, and he mentioned the officers who were with him. He mentioned that Richard was behind him, as well as a few others. And it all came home to me that day, me sitting so comfortably and safe in my car, listening to the radio. At that moment I grieved for Richard and his family. And I gave thanks for his unselfish sacrifice.