The Coat Giver

I have been recharging. My batteries are still low - but I feel the spiritual energy kicking in. It's great. I have been studying the subject of righteousness and judgment. Yeah, it's pretty heavy for my first week. But I like to jump straight to that which will stick to my ribs and not merely tease my palate. As a way to summarize and illustrate in my own words what I have learned, I wrote a poem. It doesn't rhyme. My poems stopped rhyming after high school. But it's my poem - the first one I've written in like 15 years, and I want to share it with you. Here it is...

The Coat Giver

Naked and exposed, I stand before the throne.
I think, "I don't deserve this,
Nothing I do will make my sin go away."
And I'm right.
So undeserving.
My selfish heart, my prideful spirit, the anger and hunger...
I'm so ashamed.
And as I stand before Him,
His eyes pierce through my soul.
He smiles and brings me a coat, tailored just for me.
"Put this on" He says.
"It will keep you warm and safe."

"She doesn't deserve it!" my accuser screams.
I hang my head, defeated.
I agree.
"Look at her, look at what she's done!
She has done nothing to deserve this,
And everything that goes against who You are."
"You're right," my kind Benefactor states, so matter-of-factly.
"But look at what I have done.
My sacrifice carries her to eternal life."

So, tenderly, cautiously, trembling, I put the coat on.
His righteousness covers me and I am so grateful.
I must tell others.
The pride turns to humility.
I hunger to share.
Selfishness disappears and in enters giving.

I choose to wear my coat today.
As I slip it on, I say a prayer,
A prayer of thanksgiving.
And I look forward to today.
How through my actions can I represent the Coat Giver?
He whose name is on the label-
The Designer and Tailor?
How can I model the coat He's given me
Through the runway called life?

I can hardly wait to get started.
Hey, let me tell you about the Coat Giver...

Recharged, how I love to proclaim it!

Story Part I - I was heading into town, meeting my friends Tracy and Arjean to go to the Greek Festival Sunday afternoon. I had just gotten out from my church piano job, and as usual, was running a little late. But I had the hindsight to bring the cell phone. Yes, as most of you know, Kevin and I bit the bullet and joined the 21st century last month - we got a cell phone. So I turn on the phone to call Tracy and tell her that I'm on my way. The phone dies on me!! The battery was totally dead. I mutter under my breath, having a cell phone is not really convenient when I forget to charge it. What's the use - I'm in the same boat I was a couple of months ago - running late and nobody knows why because I don't have a cell phone!

Story Part II - It's still Sunday. The Greek Festival was fun - food was as yummy as I remember it from last year. And the pastries are in my kitchen waiting on me to finish my run. I was happily trotting away on my long run - 9 miles. I'm half way through my run when my iPod dies on me. That's two electronic thingies that have died on me. Again, I had forgotten to recharge it after my last run. So I have the remainder of my route, 4.5 miles to be exact, to entertain myself with my thoughts. This could be dangerous. But this time I turned my thoughts upward. I started thinking about these two gadgets and how it's my responsibility when I use them, to make sure they have enough life to get me through the day's activities. And wow, how true is that when I make the same comparison to my life. If I don't "charge" myself, how am I expected to get through the day's activities with a positive attitude? And what about when I run into those major road blocks and I don't have enough juice to even assess the situation? That was twice in one day that a gadget died on me - I think God wanted me to make that connection and learn from those two simple experiences. I need to recharge myself every day - spending time with Him in study and prayer so I can face life, well equipped and healthy.

I want there to be a Story Part III. But I need to learn from parts I and II. And I'm going to make myself accountable to the world. This is it. I'm writing it down for all to read. (All five of you that read my blog!) I have a slot of about 45 minutes from when I get home from work and when Kevin gets home. I hereby dedicate that time to spend in prayer and study. That's going to be me, plugged into an outlet, recharging myself in God. I will start tomorrow. And I will let you know how I do with this during this first week. Hold me accountable, okay? Write me back periodically and ask me how I'm doing. I'm not a morning person, so reading in the morning doesn't work. Tried it. Studying at night makes me sleepy. But studying in the late afternoon would be a great start until I'm so immersed that it will spill over into the night and morning. Pray for me as I begin my new journey. I need to be recharged!

The Inevitable, Most-Dependable World of Change

How many times have you heard the expression, "Change, it's inevitable"? Is it true, though? Is the word "inevitable" part of the definition of the word "change"? When I think of change, I do so in the context of regularity, routine. I have a routine, something I do either in the same way or at the same time every time, and then WHAM! the monkey wrench rears its head and in barges Mr. Change. Can routine stay forever? Or will there always be change? I think there will always be change. I think change has always been around. We change from the moment we're conceived all the way past the moment we die. Our bodies are constantly changing. So it is inevitable. Is God a God of Change? I see Him promote change. "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." Gen 1:1 And then He created light. And then He separated the water from the sky. And then dry land... Day after day, He created and changed, and added. But His word says that He does not change. “For I am the LORD, I do not change..." (Malachi 3:6) I am glad for that. He encourages me to change, to grow, to be Christ-like. To be like Him is the ultimate goal for me, and it's important for me that He doesn't change. So as long as I'm still this sinful, immature and selfish human, and I strive to be like my Jesus, change is inevitable.

So why this philosophical discussion on change? Well, maybe this post is not as philosophical as I would think, but more a platform to voice the ramblings in my head. I've been challenged with change this week. It's not comfortable right now. But like someone told me today, my goal is to be Christ-like, at work and in my personal life. I totally believe God is in control of my life. And the changes that occur, the opportunities that come my way must be viewed in the context of what God wants for me. If today's change will make me stronger to face tomorrow, then by all means, bring it on!

Mi Tributo

September 11, 2001 took the lives of many loved ones. People we knew, people we might have known had they lived. We all felt the impact, the force of destruction and death, as it left us vulnerable and feeling so very mortal. There are two people I would like pay tribute to, on this somber five-year anniversary. One, a childhood friend. The other, the daughter of someone I was close to during those years when I was trying to make my way into the professional career-world.

The Mother and Daughter.
Mary Wainio had an easy, ready laugh. She had that sparkle in her eye that told you she was up to something. Whether it was bringing her famous brownies or chocolate cake to the office, or making me a pot of her famous Baltimore spaghetti, she loved life and those around her knew it. I met Mary when she moved down from Baltimore to Atlanta to work at the office of a group of research hematology-oncology doctors. I worked there too and we became fast friends. She always talked proudly about her kids, Tom and Beth. And she quickly made me into her surrogate Atlanta-daughter. I'm not one to pass up a surrogate mom, and we hit it off. During that awkward 6-week period between apartments and the wedding, Mary opened up her home to me, for free, and it was great to come home to her and her two sweet kitties. Mary too found love and was married to Jay soon after. Tom and Beth couldn't make the ceremony at the courthouse, so her Atlanta kids stepped in - Kevin and me. She later had a small, joyful reception and I had the privilege of meeting her children - I felt like I knew them so well. Honor Elizabeth Wainio had an easy smile, like her mother, that lit up her eyes. She had gone to college in Baltimore and I learned later was working for the Discovery Channel stores as a district manager in New Jersey. Beth did very well for herself and Mary was so proud of her. She had the opportunity to take a dream trip to Europe for two weeks to visit friends in Paris and Italy. She had just returned from this trip and was heading to San Francisco for a business trip. At the last minute, she decided to change her flight to take a direct flight to San Francisco, a decision that changed our lives forever. You see, she was on Flight 93 that crashed in Pennsylvania. Her mom has lost that sparkle in her eyes. She lost it on that fateful day on September 11, 2001, when she said farewell to her daughter.


The Childhood Friend
He was a sweet boy, with the cutest freckles across his nose. I had just arrived from Puerto Rico to Perth Amboy, NJ and was so happy to see other fellow Boricuas in the classroom with me. Richie was in my classes from 2nd grade until high school. He was always friendly and caring, and an awesome drummer! I lost touch with him during high school when he went on to vocational-technical high school and then I later moved to Florida. Traumatized about what happened on September 11th, a few weeks later I was scouring the pages that listed the names of victims from the World Trade Center. I came across Richie's name and his picture and my heart stopped. I couldn't believe it was him. I quickly emailed old friends from NJ- Elias, Nanette, Migdalia to verify what I was reading. Yes, it was Richard. Though I hadn't seen him in over 16 years, my memories took me back to my second grade classroom and a sweet boy who befriended a non-english speaking girl in pigtails. I learned from the memorials written about Richard that he worked for the New Jersey - New York Port Authority. That he had turned into quite a worker for the community, working for the volunteer fire department and emergency squad, and as an instructor at the police academy. I was listening to NPR one afternoon in October 2001, when the commentators were interviewing police officers who were at the World Trade Center and had survived. One of the police officers was talking about those last minutes before the towers fell, and he mentioned the officers who were with him. He mentioned that Richard was behind him, as well as a few others. And it all came home to me that day, me sitting so comfortably and safe in my car, listening to the radio. At that moment I grieved for Richard and his family. And I gave thanks for his unselfish sacrifice.

I'm Going Back to Cali...

Remember that song? "Hmmm, I don't think so!" I promised some friends I would post some pictures of my trip to California last month. It was a great trip - we flew in to San Diego, took the train to LA, rented a car and drove up the Pacific Coastal Highway all the way to San Francisco. We made a couple of stops along the way, in Santa Barbara, Monterrey (CA, not Mexico!), and San Luis Obispo. We did the typical touristy stuff - San Diego Zoo, Gaslamp Quarter, Rodeo Drive, Walk of Fame, Fisherman's Wharf, Pier 39, Ashbury & Haights, rode the trolleys - I had a large time... And of course the gastronomy of it all - Italian, Persian, Indian, Mexican cuisine. We went to the cutest little muffin shop in LA and I had the yummiest muffin (and the largest/most expensive muffin I've ever had!) And we shopped - we hit Santee Alley in the fashion district in LA, Rodeo Drive, a 6-story Macy's and H&M in San Francisco. All that shopping was a bit overwhelming though - I have never felt so shopped out, but I hit rock bottom in SF. Driving up the coast was by far my favorite activity - the curvy roads, mountains on one side, the ocean on the other... the fog! :) And my favorite city? San Francisco!! I loved it there. Those streets, the restaurants, the constant activity. And public transportation - oooh, that was fun. Especially riding with my germophobe friend Alpa. Somehow the stinkiest, ugliest, and most hygiene-challenged people would find their way right next to Alpa and we would just die of laughter! I think it took her a whole week to unwrinkle her nose!

The cactus - most inspiring of the vegetation I saw. This was right off the road when we got off the bus to go to the San Diego Zoo.

Here we are lounging, with Alpa sandwiched between the two Joys (yes, my other friend's name is also Joy!). If you squint real hard, you can see the Hollywood sign behind us. Hmmm, maybe not - but it's there, I promise!

One of my favorite musicians, Tito Puente. Here is his star (and my dirty foot) on the Hollywood walk of fame.

The Rodeo Drive sign - this was one place where I refused to buy. We kept telling ourselves "It's not that we can't afford to, we CHOOSE not to buy!" Did you know there's a Gap and an Old Navy on Rodeo Drive?
A very fun sign. It reads "NO THONGS except on feet". Needless to say, I heeded. :)
We took a ferry ride to Alcatraz Island in San Francisco and learned all about The Rock. It used to be a military base before it became a prison. We took the evening/night tour and that was cool. It was so cold though! San Francisco was very chilly. We had just left San Diego and LA where the temperature was in the 100's and we roasted. Then we hit San Francisco and we were forced to shop for sweaters and jackets. Brrrrr!! I did get me the cutest brown jacket at H&M. I wore it the rest of my time in San Francisco, except on race morning, when I ran the San Francisco Marathon (1/2 marathon).

The Rock

Inside the jail, Cell Block D
Joy T. looking scared during the audio tour.
The City by the Bay

Alpa and I trekked over to Golden Gate Park and went to the Japanese Gardens. All the bonsai trees and small bridges - very peaceful. A lot of love went into those gardens.
Alpa (without her wrinkled nose)
Me with my cute and warm jacket!!
After the race on Sunday, we treated ourselves to ice cream in Ghirardelli Square. I had the root beer float! Yummy!!

Girlfriends

Every summer, three of my best friends and I take a roadtrip to the South Carolina coast to frolic in the sun, eat yummy food, laugh & giggle, paint our toenails, crochet, and just have a large time. I'm the only married one in the group (and the oldest!) but in 7 days Christi will join the missus club and it'll be 2 on 2 next year! Funny, she's already consulted with her hubby-2-B and everything's a go for the tradition to continue next year. (Thanx Matt- U'R a gem!) We celebrated five years of our fun-in-the-sun this past July. We came to the realization (after five years!) that all four of us don't have blood-sisters, and that probably has a lot to do with why this is so special to us.
If you have any Puerto Rican friends, then you know that we give everyone nicknames. I am by far no exception and my friends have joined in the fun. Arjean, a.k.a. Chinola, is from the Philippines and boy, we've had a blast breaking her into the American culture and teaching her slang. We had an impromptu question and answer session with her this year that I won't delve into here, but I'll say it was quite the eye-opener for all of us!
Christi, better known as Chiquita, is the bride-2-B and the beach bunny of the group. Her parents met at Myrtle Beach and this year we drove past the house where she spent the summer when she lost her first tooth.

Tracy is Da Blonde, better known as Pichulina to her closest friends, smart and sassy, loves to cook, read, candle light dinners, walks on the beach... oh wait, wrong web site ;-) But in case you're interested, both she and Arjean would make someone very happy one day. Actually that would be 2 someones because it's not a package deal. They've made me happy and our relationship is totally platonic!!
What I enjoy the most is that we all have a Christian connection - reading devotions, praying, singing together. It's very special and I am so blessed to have them as well as my other girls (Shout-outs to Chelita, Deni, Shawn-Shawn, Naika, Sheilita, Lis, Isa, Maruka, Amyta )

I got this in an email, you know those emails that celebrate girlfriends and empower women. But I thought this was well said: "A girlfriend is never farther away than needing her can reach. When we began this adventure called womanhood; we had no idea of the incredible joys or sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other."

By the way, my nickname? Pelusa - it means fuzz - quite appropriate, eh?

Mi Papi

The other day I was going through a storage box that fell out of my closet. It was one of those incidents where I was meant to go through that box, because it narrowly missed my head as it came crashing to the floor. I found an essay I had written about Papi, my Dad. The essay narrated the story of how my dad came to the US in the early 60's. I would like to share that story with you.

Jesus Tirado was born to a very poor family, to an illiterate father, Eustaquio Giraud, who worked the land in order to survive. His mother, Carmen Salas, died while he was still a child, and so he was forced to fend for himself at a very young age. Forced to leave Puerto Rico by his abusive father, Chuito, as he was lovingly called by his mother, saved his money for a plane ticket by shining shoes and catching & selling crabs in Luquillo, PR. The young adolescent arrived at New York City with just a few dollars in his pocket, naively thinking that he was coming to a town as small as the one he just left. Finding his sister would just be a matter of asking the first person he encountered when he arrived at the airport. Instead, he was swallowed by cement and skyscrapers, walking aimlessly through the city in the dead of winter, searching for his sister for two whole weeks. He did not find his sister, but did manage to catch a double pneumonia, with no thanks to his thin shirt and trousers that offered no protection against the cold weather. Sori Cardona, now married and with five children of her own, found her little brother. It was a miracle, really, and the story is still told at the table during family get-togethers. A friend happened to be listening to a radio station that aired out of New York City, as the announcer was listing names of people who were searching for loved ones. He announced in Spanish, "Jesus Tirado is looking for his sister. If anyone knows his sister, please inform her that he is being kept at..." and he named the hospital where Papi was staying. The friend immediately called Titi Sori (that's what I call her!), and she found her "hermanito" recuperating from the pneumonia that almost claimed his young life.

Papi did not speak English, and he had just a few dollars to his name. He immediately was enrolled in school and managed to learn enough English to get by. He got his certificate as a heating and air conditioner repairman. He came to know Christ, and fell in love with the message of salvation that offered him hope in such a cruel world. He met my mother at church, and together they started a Christian family based on the principles of love, respect, and hard work. Though we did not have much money, my father provided his family with enough to satisfy our needs plus a little more. He was faithful to his Lord and church, and God blessed us because of it. Papi sacrificed to put me through seven years of piano lessons, just so he could have someone accompany him on the piano when he sang. He has a beautiful baritone voice, and even now when I hear him sing, my heart swells with love and admiration. Why do I think my father is the person who has influenced my life the most? Because he has worked hard to provide his family with a nurturing atmosphere, unlike the one he had when he was a child. Because he did the best he could to educate himself, reading countless books, studying music theory so he could lead out in song service. Because he taught us to work hard for what we wanted; he taught us that nothing in life is given to you, but earned. And, because he taught us that the giving of ourselves to others is more important than what we own and possess. I am blessed to have had such a strong male figure throughout my life, especially in this day and age where having a full-time devoted father is scarce.

Papi has had some of his dreams come true. His children grew up and serve the community well. Jay and I went to college and now have families of our own. He has helped and organized four Hispanic Seventh-day Adventist congregations in the Central Florida area, devoting countless of hours preparing music, programming, sermons, giving Bible studies, raising funds, and visiting the sick and elderly every week. Papi still works hard, but is now enjoying the fruits of his labor. After working a grueling day at the air conditioning plant where he has been employed for the last 19 years, he comes home to water and take care of his trees, plants, shrubs, and flowers. Every year, his small quarter acre of land produces oranges, grapefruit, beans, pineapples, papayas, peppers, herbs, yucca, malanga, sugarcane, and more! I hope I one day grow up to be a third of the person my father is. When people tell me that I am so much like Papi, my heart once again swells with love and pride. The world is a better place because of Papi, and I hope I can leave as deep a mark as he has.

What's in your box?

So here I am driving home on the interstate, tears streaming down my face as I listen to a lady on "This American Life" talk about her experience with her son. You see, her husband has a very degenerate form of dementia and their ten year-old son is having a hard time dealing with the loss. Because he is so young, the son does not have any memories of his Dad prior to the disease. So Mom got a box, an old tin box that belonged to her husband and filled it up with tidbits, little items such as a pocket knife, photos, a passport, an old work ID card, lots of small "throw-aways" that each tell a little story about her husband. She brings the box out and shares these memories with her son on a regular basis. He asks questions and begins to form a picture of his dad, before the illness stole his humor, his personality, and his affection. She described a situation with her son that really made me cry. He needed an extra $10 to buy some action figures, and they decided to use an old jar full of coins that Dad use to fill with coins from his pocket. After cashing in the coins and buying his toys, the son approaches his mom with tears and grief, realizing that those coins belonged to his DAD. And they are no longer in the house, coins he had touched and deposited in the jar. That made me cry. And it also made me think...

...about that tin box. I can picture my life memories in a tin box. Each little "throw-away" in my tin box is a little piece of my life, and the pieces combine to form a mosaic - my life. Do you remember seeing a mosaic where each little piece is a picture of someone? You stand far away from the mosaic and it's really a portrait of someone's face. But each little piece has a portrait all its own. That's it. That's my life. Everyone who has ever come in contact with me has gone away with a little portrait of who I am. My husband has a different picture. My mother, my father, my brother, my sister-in-law, my brothers-in-law, my mother-in-law, my colleagues past and present, friends from each phase and walk of life... I can go on. If each of these people had a little memory of me and they put in a box, what kind of portrait would I see? A smiling Joy? A compassionate Joy? A selfish Joy? A sad Joy? A Christ-like Joy?

That story really had an impact on me. My prayer is that as you walk away from the mosaic that makes up my life and look at the big picture, you don't see my portrait, but that of Jesus. Wow, there's a lot to be done on this work of art.

So, what's in your box?

Happy New Year!

I'm looking for some interaction here. And I need help. Since I'm done with school (for now, wink-wink!) No one believes me when I say I'm done with school! I need to review my life and account for my future actions. For those of you who know me well, you can attest that I am a highly goal-motivated person. Give me a challenge - any challenge - and if there's a goal to be attained, I will give it my all. That's how I have approached my education, my career, even my hobbies. When I run, it's because I'm training for a race. When I crochet, it's because I'm working on a gift for someone. When I play the piano, it's because there's a piece I want to learn or I have to play a solo piece for offertory or special music. So you can pretty much say without a shadow of a doubt, that goals motivate me. The goal to succeed, the goal to be happy, the goal to bring happiness to others. With school out of the way, I have new goals I need to set and old goals to revive. My evenings are freer now, so I can prioritize my time for these goals. It's like "Happy New Year, Joy! Let's set some resolutions!" Okay, I have a house to remodel. That's a goal. A real big goal. I have a hubby I would love to pamper. He deserves it, especially after putting up with my schedule and craziness these past two years. I have a God I absolutely need to devote more time to. He has sustained me and carried me through all of my craziness. And He has just been so patient with me, sitting on the edge of His throne-seat, waiting for me to put Him at the top of my goals. I have a new/old church I need to get involved with. New friends to make, sisters to relate to, families to love, ministries to embrace. Whew, I think I just filled up my schedule once again! But I think these new goals are more relationship-goals. To devote time with God, devote time with my hubby and family, devote time to get to know my church family and friends.

So, what are your goals and how do you go about setting/realizing these?

Headlines: Miss Puerto Rico runs the San Francisco Marathon!

Hi!! It's been such a long journey - these last two months. I said I wasn't going to do anything but get through school, my half-marathon training, and minimal housework and then i would post again. So this is evidence that I did it! I checked on line today and yes, folks, I am through with school! I got my grades and this little nerd managed to keep her 4.0 GPA and get her degree supa-magna-hypa cum laude. (I made that up, really.) But wait, there's more. Let me tell you about my other accomplishment - I ran the San Francisco Marathon - the half marathon - this past Sunday. And I finished 1766th out of 3859 runners who ran the 1st half. Not bad for this athletically challenged girl who got hit on the head with her own fly ball as she ran frantically towards first base. (They called me out, the nerve!)

Let me tell you a little about my trip. No, let me tell you about the highlight of my trip. It wasn't running on the Golden Gate Bridge, or driving through the Pacific Coastal Highway and soaking in all that scenery. It wasn't riding the cable cars or feeding the pigeons. It was sitting at church, crying through every prayer, and being so happy to worship with fellow Christians, thousands of miles away from home but feeling like I was at home. The Sabbath before my race, I hopped on the bus and made it to the San Francisco Central SDA Church. I was spiritually hungry, feeling so different from my traveling companions who don't have a relationship with God. The church building was beautiful - all the dark wood, rafters, stone, the pulpit. The people were so warm and friendly and thoughtful. The sermon was inspiring and I soaked it in like a runner gulping down water at the end of the race. I left that building whole again, spiritually (and physically) fed. That's what got me through the race with strength and a smile. It wasn't the months of training I had endured. Training does help, but it's the connection with God that makes these accomplishments so worthwhile. If you're ever in San Francisco, check out the church there. To me, it was the highlight of my traveling journey.

I will be writing more now. So check me out from time to time. And write back, okay? I'm ready to delve into this blogger world and make new friends!

My Superhero-ness

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 80% Spider-Man 70% Robin 67% Superman 65% Catwoman 65% Supergirl 62% The Flash 60% Wonder Woman 57% Hulk 45% Batman 40% Iron Man 40%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

New Beginnings

Sounds like the title to a commencement speech? Well, it is. My commencement speech. I finally graduated from college. Okay, officially graduated from college. After three different degrees, I had the opportunity to walk proudly, float down the aisle in an oversized gown, balance a silly cap, and wrestle with a white collar that would not stay on. 600 other graduates and I from Spartanburg Technical College walked last week to the the pre-recorded notes of Pomp and Circumstance. It was so much fun for me! Especially to have my hubby, two best friends, and three other church families clap and yell my name. Oh and hold up signs! Yes, my hubby, the ever graphic artist, created three signs from foamboard that shouted "Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy!" I turned in my seat and laughed when I saw him holding the sign. Two other signs went up next to him and the other graduates around me laughed too. I felt quite special. Then the reading of the names began. Did I already mention there were 600 graduates? I was one of the first dozen ones because "Accounting" is part of the "Business School" which starts with the letter "B". I didn't realize that even those students who had completed a 1-year certificate program also had the opportunity to don a cap and gown. The welders and the clerks, the dental assistants and the automotive technicians. Tom, Dick, Harry, and Jane. I sat there for a long time, shifting in my chair, stomach grumbling, counting the number of pages of names left in the program. But then I felt ashamed. For most of these graduates, the certificate they held in their hands would be a symbol of the highest scholastic achievement ever. It wasn't a doctorate in physics, or an MBA. It was a simple piece of paper that showed months of hard work after probably having been out of school for decades! There were grandparents graduating, with their whole 20-member families hooting and hollering when their names were called. Indeed it was a crowning moment for an achievement so well deserved and earned. I quickly had an attitude adjustment, and instead of focusing on my tired back and hunger pangs, I focused on the big smiles and the proud postures, and I joined in their celebration. This realization became my commencement mantra that night. "Tonight we have proven that dreams can be realized, goals can be reached, hard work does pay off. For me, success is not defined as having big goals. I define it as having reached a goal, no matter how big or small. 600 graduates from STC and I had quite a successful evening on May 4, 2006." Of course, now I HAVE to finish the last 3 classes in my program this summer. Then my success will be complete.

The Young, Rich Ruler - A Different Twist

Ever wonder "what if"? What if I had never left New Jersey? What if I hadn't gone to Club Velvet on that summer night and met Kevin? What if I hadn't been born a Tirado but a Hilton, or a Kennedy? (God knew what He was doing on that one, that's for sure!) What if my mom would have died when she gave birth to my brother? What if... I sometimes wonder "what if" with the stories from the Bible. What if Adam hadn't succumbed to Eve's desire to be like god? What if Abraham would have said, "Forget it! I ain't leavin' Ur." Or David would have thought, "Oh snap! All I have are some rocks. I'm outta here!" How about the opposite. What if Saul would have trusted God and not vexed the Holy Spirit? What if Delilah would have been like the Proverbs woman instead of the seductress? What if the young rich ruler would have sold all his possessions and followed Jesus? That's where I want to take you. I wrote this monologue two years ago and want to share it with you. It's a little long, but it gives us a glimpse into the what if's that must have plagued this poor, rich man for the rest of his life.

Man, I’m poor! I don’t have possessions; nothing of houses, cars, a bank account. The clothes I have on my back are my only possession. And some days when I see an old beggar and I don’t have any money, I give my clothes, my coat, whatever I have on me. One day I even gave away my shoes and I had yet quite a distance to walk. Someone felt sorry for me and gave me another pair. But you know what? I feel so much joy when I share with others. I not only share my material possessions. Those that receive from me don’t always go away with a coat, a pair of shoes, or a coin. They take with them the message of salvation that is also a gift from our Lord Jesus Christ. Do you know him? Jesus? He’s awesome, WOW! He changed my life totally. I had the opportunity to know him and walk with him. I learned from Him. It was the experience of a lifetime, totally transforming.

I haven’t always been poor. I was born into a prominent family. I had quite the happy childhood, full of love and opportunities. I traveled to far away places as a child. I was educated by the best professors and in the most prestigious schools. At the university, I was president of the debate club. All my professors would tell me that in the history of the institution, I was the student that had the brightest and most promising future. My dad died when I was young and left me a fortune. I missed him a lot and felt lonely at times. He was such a wise man, just, full of compassion and happiness. He challenged me to break the mold, to be a man of integrity and not to follow common traditions just to agree with the majority. He challenged me to think for myself. A few months after he died, I met a Man who reminded me so much of my dad. He was a teacher and large multitudes followed him everywhere he went. They followed Him because of the miracles He performed and because of his teachings. He challenged my thinking. He clarified doubts that I had in my heart, he illuminated my mind. And he did it in such a way that was so simple, mere stories! I went to all his lectures. When his eyes came to rest on me, it felt like He was looking into the depths of my soul. That made me feel uncomfortable, because I was a proud young man. I felt proud of my status, my wealth, my intelligence.

One day I came to him and asked him, “Professor, what good can I do to obtain eternal life?” I anticipated his response and I was ready with my next comment. I knew that he was going to mention the law. Since a child I have kept the law. But I wasn't prepared for what he was going to say. His response left me speechless. He could see the pride in my heart and wanted to yank it from its root. He told me that I had to sell all of my businesses, my houses, close out my bank account, sell my stocks, sell my beach house, yachts, everything!! And give it all to the poor. How could that be? Was he crazy? This empire that my dad with the sweat of his brow had built from the ground? How could I sell it all and give it to the poor? I got so sad. I went that night to my house and tried to sleep. But I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned and turned and tossed. Restless. My heart and my mind were restless. I got on my knees and started praying. I wondered what my dad would have done. I thought of what my future would look like without my material possessions. Leave everything and follow Christ. Keep my fortune. Hmmmm. I prayed more and more. All of a sudden, my mind cleared up! What good would my possessions be to me if I can’t find peace? Salvation? Eternal life? When everything is said and done, what would others say of me? I was a successful man and I had lots of “things”. Or I was a man of integrity, sincere, kind, generous. I knew in my heart the decision I had to take. And you know what? It didn’t cost me a thing! In fact, I gained! It wasn't the poor who were so excited to receive my money and clothes that profited from my generosity. The one who gained was me! I was victorious! I walked with Jesus, listened to his teachings. It was with Him and in Him that I found true wealth.

And so here I am. You ask me if I have ever wondered what would have happened if I had made a different decision. Yeah, I have asked myself that question. I think I would have turned into a bitter, unhappy, unstable, desperate man, still looking for something to fill my empty heart. And you know what? I don’t envy him. I don’t envy that man with his material possessions. The man that I was. I have salvation. Salvation doesn’t have a price that I can pay. It’s free, thanks to the blood that Jesus shed on the cross for me. And you.

My World Is Aging

Do you feel it too? I remember the day I realized that I was aging. Not that I'm a self-centered person. Well, we all are, really. But I remember looking in the mirror and seeing my laugh lines, little crows feet around my eyes, my pores were getting a little bigger... I didn't freak out. In fact, I kind of liked what I saw: a woman with character and personality, and some experience under her belt. Wow. I didn't look like a teenager anymore. Or like I was in my early twenties. I haven't started feeling the aches and pains of aging yet. Well, I guess the bursitis in my IT band from not stretching before I run is probably an indicator that my muscles are not as flexible and strong as they used to be. But I'm trying to do better with that now. I do notice how much older my parents are getting. The aches and pains they suffer. They seemed so untouchable when I was younger. Like they would last forever. But now they look so vulnerable. And I pray for them so much. I pray for good health, and happiness and peace. I pray for a sound mind and healthy bowels, and a strong heart. God, please keep them safe from disease and viruses. My mom is really a health nut. She's been a health nut all my life, making my brother and I eat all sorts of healthy weird stuff. But it's paid off for me. And I pray that all the hard work preparing home cooked meals with little fat, good protein, lots of vitamins and minerals... all those hours... may they be blessed by God. My dad is a lay pastor for a Hispanic SDA congregation in Central Florida. And he's always giving Bible studies and organizing the programming at the church. Always on the go-go-go. And I pray for him too. He just had a birthday earlier this month. 59 years strong. But now his back is bothering him. All those years slaving away in a production line are taking their toll. Lord, keep him healthy so he can enjoy his retirement. The decades of working for his family, providing for us: food, a home, leisure trips, my piano lessons, my brother's braces...may he enjoy the fruits of his labor for a long time. My parents are awesome and I thank God for them and their quirks. They made me who I am and I'm proud to be their daughter. I hope that as I get older, I'll be like them. Aging gracefully, beautifully, active, setting goals well into my senior years.

Quintessence

I learned something new today. I try to learn something new every day and if I really pay attention to life and what surrounds me, I usually learn a lot. Today, my day started with a lesson. Did you know that a long time ago, people believed the earth was made up of water, earth, fire, and air, and that everything else in the universe such as the planets and stars was made of an unknown fifth element? Quinta essentia in Latin it was called, hence the word quintessence. And because of its importance, if this quintessence could be captured or isolated, it could cure all diseases. So this makes me think, what's quintessential in my life? Besides the water that hydrates and cleanses me, the fire that burns in my heart when I learn and open my mind, the earth my feet trod as I seek to make a difference in my little world, the precious air that strengthens me... What is that fifth element in my life that if captured and isolated could cure me of all disease? I know an element above all elements, the Creator of Elements, the Periodic Table Himself whose main desire is to cure me. Funny thing is that I don't need to capture or isolate Him. He's right here beside me waiting for me to acknowledge Him as the pure Essence in my life. But here's an interesting twist about the word quintessence. Modern physicists have given the word a new meaning - "dark energy" which is what makes up 70% of the universe. You know, it's just like the enemy to try to inch his way into something pure and murk it all up. It's the age-old conflict between good and evil all over again. Today I make the choice to make God quintessential in my life. And I hold on to the promise that He will one day vaporize the dark energy forever and take me to live with Him for all eternity.

Inside Out

A few weeks ago I embarked on a sewing adventure. Yes, I took on the monumental task of putting together a crib bumper, crib sheets, curtains, a bedskirt, quilt, and a pillow for a dear friend of mine who did not like the baby designs out in the market. So as a gift to her and her child, I volunteered to put together a baby set for Skye's room. The curtains and crib sheets were not a problem. That was simply cutting out rectangles and putting little touches here and there. Now the crib bumper was a different story. I used 5 different fabrics, created my own trim with double piping and ruffles... the end result was beautiful. The problems arose when I was sewing all the pieces together, the trim and the tie straps, the front and the back, batting here, batting there. Since it was circular, I had to leave an opening so I could turn it inside out and then baste the opening by hand. I was quite proud of myself when I got to that point - no major mishaps. And then came time to turn it inside out. Remember it was circular. So I'm pulling from one end and pulling from the other end. The result was a tube inside another tube - tubular infinity! No matter how much I pulled it would never result back into a circular tube. The opening I had created was located on the wrong side of the tube. I had to cut the tube, turn it inside out and then connect it again by hand. After countless hours, many finger prickings, and a bucket of frustrated tears, the bumper was complete, ready to be installed in Skye's crib to protect her little head from unprecedented bumps. And it was beautiful. The tubular incident made me think of my relationship with God. How He deals with me and my controlling attitude. I'm pulling from this end, pulling from that end, frustrated with the results, a tube inside a tube. I'll never be that continuous tube He wants me to be. But then I let the Master Sewer cut me, pull me inside out, lovingly stitch me back to become the useful human He envisioned me to be. Somehow I manage to turn myself outside-in again and the process starts all over again. A work in progress. Ah, but He is so patient and skilled.

Testing...1...2...3...

Thought I would give this a try - i enjoy reading other people's blogs - why not write my own?!